If I could I would come and take care of you - although at the moment I feel like 'taking care' of your W!!!!! I'd have to pack a couple of my whips!!!! Then I would probably get stopped by immigration and sent home!!!!!!!
saffie
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
Can't remember which one it was. I have an offer I'm not too crazy about, and I want to hear from another company soon.
I realized something about you, Mark, you are DB-ing very well. Your purpose is clear and your discipline unflagging.
I let myself get involved in a church discipline related situation with OM that boomeranged back on my marriage very negatively. Even though I didn't intitiate it, I was asked to verify that OM had affair with my wife. Some clregy/elder friends of mine felt OM could not continue on the track to ministry while still involved with my wife. They approached OM's church without asking me. Perhaps I could have stone-walled them and refused to answer their questions. At the time I didn't see the purpose in keeping it under wraps anymore.
OM called my wife and quasi broke it off with her (we'll see) and said that I blew the whistle on him and that the "church" made him do it.
My wife is now pissed. She feels I broke her confidence and that I dragged her name through the mud. She feels "clear" now that I am more loyal to church than to her.
She wants an immediate separation/divorce.
So if there's a lesson here: getting other people involved (even involuntarily) opens a can of worms. It's the nuclear option. Anything can happen.
Theo - I remember you had the meeting the day we met. Interview was with MS (I think...).
Thanks for the compliment, but I don't know if I am DBing so much as acting in a self-preservation response to being $hit upon for so many months. I am growing weary living with an unfaithful wife. Energy spent fighting about (or for) my marriage is becoming a waste of energy. What with global warming and all that, I feel a responsibility to preserve energy...
But seriously, to me, fighting for, and working for the preservation or recovery of my marriage is quickly becoming an exercise in futility. Part of me wishes she would go ahead and file so I can go about the business of getting on with my life.
And I don't know about unflagging discipline. I don't snoop, and I am not taking any of her bait. Not sure where that will lead me.
I think your wife is giving a lot of alien spew. She knows what happened - probably expected it. I would wager that her boyfriend did. Let her go throw her tantrum. She knows what happened...
she is blaming you for something she created. You might have stonewalled them but is she going to take your integrity as well as your love and walk all over it? You did the right thing.
How are your children? Are they still unaware of OM situation?
((((HUGS)))))))
Saffie
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
Theo, I am rarely here on the boards, but do check in on you once a week or more often when possible. You may remember I turned my H in to his work, got him fired, and he only later found out what I did. Nightmare. But there IS NO RIGHT ANSWER to these situations. What could you have done? I don't know. Just know I support you, and I'm sorry for the fallout. This too shall pass. The anger/hatred at you peaks early after this stuff, and actually it will wane. Believe it or not (oh, it still comes up on occasion in a heated argument, but not like back in the aftermath of discovery)
Must sleep. Too many 12hour shifts. And no interest yet from the many resumes sent this month. sigh. I'm past my prime, I hate getting older.
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Is 43:18-19
If it seems slow in coming, wait. It's on its way. It will come right on time. Hab 2:3
