How can I change her mind or help her understand that I want to work on it and fix our issues?
Chad - sorry you're here. You're in the right place but I know this is hard.
Definitely read DR as soon as possible. And please, IMMEDIATELY stop trying to change her mind, fix her, make her mind up for her. All of that is out of your control, and the more you try to control or push her, the further AWAY you will push her.
It took a lot for her to walk away, I guarantee that, and she's probably really confused. Trying to make her see things your way only reinforces that she was right to walk away - you can't even empathize with her unhappiness, all you're doing is pushing your own agenda on her. It's totally normal, but it's not going to help you at all.
You cannot change her mind. SHE may change her mind if she sees someone and something that she wants to come back to, though. So work on yourself and on becoming the best "you" that you can be. It may work, it may not, but it's all you have control over.
As for convincing her that you want to work on the issues - does she have any reason to think you don't? My guess is she knows that you want to work on it - and you're probably driving her crazy bringing that fact up constantly. SHE doesn't want to work on it, though. At least not right now.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
