that's just it. you are NOT starting a fight. You are essentially saying, "you do what you want to do. if you want to move out, you move out."
I agree in principle. The problem is I'm looking at it from the angle of is this going to help me achieve my goals.
How would doing this help me to get her back? Is she suddenly going to respect me for sticking to my guns and decide that she does want this M after all?
She's already made her choice, she wants a separation. There are only two options, I either go along with it and make it happen with as little ugliness as possible or I resist. Telling her I won't go and if she wants to, she is free to go is resisting. Passive resisting, but resisting all the same. It's going to happen on way or another, why resist it?
I've already seen benefits from not resisting. When we talked about this and I agreed to go along with it, she immediately relaxed. She became more open and we were laughing and joking about the bizzare situation. As soon as we decided on this plan it's almost as if she went from being convinced the M was over to suddenly feeling like there was some hope. I haven't been able to get her to do anything with me for several months and suddenly now she's suggesting we go on dates during the separation.
Now if I'd gone the opposite route and said no, I'm not leaving but you are free to do so if you want, where would we be? She be angry and resentful, not talking to me and looking to get out as fast as possible. Is that going to help me?
Plus with this sharing apartment arrangement I have the advantage of her having little reminders of me. Just a week ago she had mentioned her pillow smelled nice and I sniffed it and agreed, then gave her my pillow and she said it smelled nice, like cologne and me and it was really nice. Having my scent on the bed is one of those little things that will remind her of me
