Hey, cattus, I hope you are doing okay today. I went back and read your post to others, as well as the update you posted somewhere, and my goodness do I know what you are talking about. The infernal meanness that your H can display to you and the snappish comments, I do wonder how much of it is related to their jobs. Especially during your H's probationary period. I know when my H, eleven years ago was in his probationary period, he was really stressed out, not knowing if some minor screwup would be all blown out of proportion. And he did stuff they never found out about, like accidentally cocking his weapon, and being afraid if he tried to uncock it, it would go off, so he drove out to the country to fire it. Very carefully. Or one time he left it on top of his car. Different stuff like that, that we laugh about now. I have shared all that nutty stuff with him, he can't turn to some ho, and say, hey remember when I did so and so? And then say oh wait that was VC. And who pinned his badge on him at his academy graduation? Me. I do think it's possible that alot of what your H is doing IS related to the stresses of his job. Did he show a difference of behavior and attitude shortly after entering the academy? They did a program one evening for the spouses of the academy recruits, and asked for a show of hands if you felt like they were showing a diference in their behavior since entering the academy, and quite a few of us raised our hands. I will definitely get the I Love a Cop book. Amazon.com will be hearing from me shortly.
You are right, when you put it that way about the ILY after ML, he will say it if I do. And we do cuddle alot now. Sometimes he will reach out for me in the night just to put his arm around me, that has just started hapening recently. And this morning, he said it is your anniversary, I will get my own breakfast, so you can sleep in a little. It is our 24th anniversary today. We are just going to cook out, and exchange small gifts, and today is also his birthday, how sneaky is that to pick his birthday to get married on? So, I got him a beautiful cake, which I hid at the IL's house, and I am trying to decide what to get him for a gift.
I really hope things are turning around for us now. The other day, he said something that hurt my eelings, and some days my emotions are very close to the surface, so my eyes teared up, and he asked what's wrong with your eyes? DUH!! I went into the bedroom, and he came in and said if he hurt my feelings, he was sorry, but he was a different person now, and was going to say what was on his mind, even if someone's feelings got hurt. Then we got into a little R talk, and I said I wanted him to never feel he needed to go outside our M again. He said nothing, but when he was leaving a little later, we hugged and kissed, and I asked him did you hear what I said earlier. He said what do you mean, and I said it again, and he said he wouldn't. I said as he was turning away to leave, and I want you to mean it. he turned back and asked, What, you don't think I meant it? I said yes, I do think you meant it. So, I guess that means something, doesn't it?
Well, I guess I will go get this day started, I am already falling behind on my day. Typical, having to rush around like this, to get it all done in half the time. Wish us luck on the anniversary celebration thing.
