Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
My JS lookalike and a group of people, my pals & his are meeting for our pubcrawl Saturday at noon. 30 Bars on the list...I think I am going to have to approach it with a drink at every 3rd bar strategy
I will let you know how it pans out.
Me: 30 EX-H: 37 DD: 5 Separated 6/07. MC for months, EX-H quit MC. Divorce Final 8/14/08. Trying to move on with new life.
I have been training like for the Olympics. My girlfriends have been laughing since I switched from wine or martini's to imported beer...Apparently the import has more alcohol so I should have better tolerance for the horrid local draft we will be drinking
MMMMM Transporter...also I commandeered (sp?) my copy of Crank back from my previous residence. No need for H to have any of MY JS collection...
Me: 30 EX-H: 37 DD: 5 Separated 6/07. MC for months, EX-H quit MC. Divorce Final 8/14/08. Trying to move on with new life.
Saturday pub crawl…Fantastic out of this world good time. Forgot what it was like to act like an unattached single person. Wow! Made it to all 30 bars, had about 7-8 beers as I working on 1 every 4th bar or so. I drank water in between. The JS look-a-like did not disappoint. We had a great time together. I got asked to come back and watch the Patriots the next day and took him up on the offer. Anyway, looks like I made a friend. Although he did state that he was really interested but wanted to keep it friendly until I was 100% available. Took a lot of guts for him to say that and it really just made me like and respect him more, very mature for 24. Not that I am looking to get into a relationship…Esp when I told him I wasn’t interested in anything that even resembled a date. Meet for drinks, maybe catch a football game…but no dinner, no movies etc. Just pure college fun. Beer pong competitions and keg parties only. Do not want to be anyones “girlfriend” nor do I want a boyfriend…Just someone to hang out with from time to time and have fun. Got to love them Irish boys from Southie!
Sunday not such a fun day. I think H went to see an atty. Wants to get the ball rolling and was discussing meeting this week to try and divvy up our “stuff” Can’t really call them assets. Tried to let it roll of my shoulders. I knew it was coming. Just didn’t think he would be so hot to trot with it. Wants formal separation agreement ASAP and found out because I have been living separate for almost 90 days a D could be pushed through almost as soon as the separation agreement is agreed upon. I guess that’s one of the great things about MA 90 day sep required then on you get to D. Very quick and cheap if no arguing involved. Oh well. I give up. Towel thrown in. He doesn’t want to work on it. I am tired of trying to convince him to get IC and continue to go to MC. Just want to move on with my life. Not going to contest it. I know, there is my inner defeatist. Don’t really want to be married to “that guy”… the same guy that treated me so badly and didn’t want to change. Lots of fish in the sea.
It wouldn’t have hit so hard if I hadn’t come to pick up D4 and found that almost all of my personal stuff that I hadn’t picked up yet had been packed away in the basement. I was totally miffed as I had been getting it bit by bit (as his request) to not upset D4. She still doesn’t really get whats going on and is very upset that I stay at Grampa’s and not at “our” house. Needless to say some of the stuff I was picking up that day was randomly packed in the basement. No idea what boxes, no labeling. IMO just him being vindictive. Pretty sure he is in the midst of starting a new relationship with someone as all pics of the family have been taken down and replaced with pics of him & D4 only or just D4.
Sorry for the rant & depressive subject but I have hit the end of the line. Gearing up for my divorce party. Hopefully my young JS look-a-like will still be interested by the time this whole thing is officially behind me. Hope everyone else had a good weekend!
Me: 30 EX-H: 37 DD: 5 Separated 6/07. MC for months, EX-H quit MC. Divorce Final 8/14/08. Trying to move on with new life.
You must've had quite the blast on your pub-crawl (you animal, you!). Glad JS didn't disappoint, and also glad to see you taking things slow in regard to dating him or anyone else. Just make sure you're over H (or at least darn close!) when you get back out there. No dragging old baggage into a new R, right?
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Needless to say some of the stuff I was picking up that day was randomly packed in the basement. No idea what boxes, no labeling. IMO just him being vindictive. Pretty sure he is in the midst of starting a new relationship with someone as all pics of the family have been taken down and replaced with pics of him & D4 only or just D4.
I don't know. I still think that your H is doing these things out of spite and in an attempt to control you and your emotions. A person doesn't just flip the switch like he did IMHO. He has been hurt, and this is how he's dealing with it now. Him putting pictures up of just him and D4 at this point is likely just him trying to get at you emotionally when you come over and see things this way. He could also just be trying to move on by doing it, but I honestly think it's the latter. Your H hasn't grown from this experience, so it is my belief that he is still playing this guilt tripping, vindictive, childish game in hopes of getting a reaction out of you -- and he's hoping one that will bring you groveling back to him ("this isn't what I wanted!" "I'm sorry!" "Please take me back!" etc). I could be way off here, but that's just the feeling I've gotten throughout this whole thing with you and H. I kind of did these things too -- prior to DBing -- so I guess that's what gives me the feeling I'm getting with your H. And btw, when I realized I had only made my sitch worse, I was very upset with myself. That's about the time that I hit rock-bottom and started seeking out resources (like DR and this site) to help me get W back. H could be in the same boat...
