I would like to know if anyone has any suggestions on what to do for his upcoming birthday. Should I keep it low-key or make a big deal of it. For my birthday, 3 weeks ago, I got nothing. He did not even say Happy Birthday. He just said "I didn't forget its your birthday" and thats the last I heard about it. It didn't bother me too much, as growing up, my family never made a big deal of birthdays, but his family does and so does OW. I'm sure she'll buy him fancy gifts and mushy cards, but mushy is not my style.
He barely talks to me since I found out about his dirty little weekend away with her. I don't know if he feels guilty about going away (probably not),or lying, or getting caught. I have tried to be as normal as possible, but these one-sided conversations are getting tedious. I told him at the time that I was willing to put this behind me provided he does not do it again. In other words, I can forgive, but I will not forget. He drives for a living and I know he takes her with him on some of his trips, but I don't ask about it, because I don't want him to feel forced to lie again. (he will) I don't know what she tells her H about these little jaunts because they are overnight, so she apparently is a liar too.
Communication around here is at a low point, I can't get him to talk about anything. Any time we do talk, it's just the same old thing over and over again. It all comes down to him saying that I won't understand his depression and how I am no help if he talks to me when he is down. The thing is, he doesn't talk to me. If I ask him if anything is wrong, I just get silence...or a mumbled "nothing". How can I help, or even know what's going on if he won't tell me? All I can do is keep things going as smoothly as possible around the house while he "talks" to her.
I have put into practice some of the things in the divorce busting book, and have noticed small changes in his behavior. I will keep plugging away at it and, hopefully, he will feel comfortable opening up to me a little more.
