Those moments of clarity are a SOB, eh! Like CVA said, we can all relate to that moment you had. I had a small one this weekend, myself.
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But even if being alone isn't a/the problem/fear, it is still hard to realize that your R with your WAS is ending in this way too. It's just a sad thing.
No question, friend. No question.
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Well, some time in the last week or so (not sure when, but I bumped my thread about five days ago), my last thread "disappeared." I really have no idea why. If anyone does, please let me know.
I'm not sure, but thought I'd add that I was looking for someone else's last thread a week or two ago and it had "disappeared" too. It's a mystery (but it could be that your thread is just too hot and racey! )
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When I dropped S7 off at MIL's, I visited only for a few minutes (left my car running in the driveway). MIL asked me if I had eaten or if I wanted to sit down and eat with them. I said I couldn't, that I had plans for dinner. She gave me a slightly surprised look.
Probably thinking, "Wow, he must really be moving on now. Is he really at the point where he is okay with turning down opportunities to spend time with W?" Or "Hmmmm, is he now back on the market and dating/seeing someone?" What do you think the surprised look hinted at?
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It is hard for me to comprehend that she could/would choose that over being with me, but that was the question W wanted to answer in the S - will I be happier alone than with Nomo. Wow. Let that soak in. Humbling. and, yes, it hurts.
Wow, doesn't that hit close to home! For me, realizing that W would rather be miserable with BF, broke, struggling, etc, than with me says a lot about how she felt in our M at the time of the separation. Painful is an understatement. I think my W would rather live this way than admit that she'd made a mistake to not work harder on fixing the M. Even if she wanted to come back, she won't do it.
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They were my family, I truly felt like that, W has decided to remove me from her life and her family. She wants me to leave, so it just doesn't feel right to be with them.
Again, it's like you're taking a page out of my own story when saying this, except my inlaws and I have a better R than W and them do. However, I'm going to make sure I separate myself from the big family events (Thanksgiving, Xmas, etc) as well.
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We are sharing a hotel room (W and D4 in one bed, me and S7 in the other).
That should prove to be an interesting situation, no?
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I plan to try to be as easy going, nice and pleasant as possible. And to have fun - yeah, you go Fun Nomo!
Atta boy! Keep up your hard-earned changes, my man!
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