This is another issue that's been bugging me for loong time in my relationship with my wife.

This is not a replacement to my prev "impossible" thread: I would very much appreciate people's feedback on BOTH issues.

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1238061

But this one is a little shorter. not neccessarily simpler.

So... sometimes my wife gets really mad at me about something.
She's mad at me right now, in fact.

If I apologise, she stays mad.
If I ask for forgiveness, she stays mad (and refuses to forgive; dodges even directly responding to my request for forgiveness)
If I let some time go by, before re-approaching her about it: she stays mad. (and actually gets almost just as angry about it, as she first was, for my audacity to remind her about the issue)
If I dont talk about it at all... she adds it to her hard ball of resentment against me, and the tension level between us stays higher because of it.. sometimes for a MONTH or more.
Any attempt at me being nice to her during that time, results in, "I'm still mad at you for [xxxx]". But any attempt to defuse, apologise, or make up for xxxx, doesnt seem to help either.

Suggestions on how I can best deal with this situation?



Background on current reason: she's mad because I told her I wanted to talk about multiple things last night: ONE of them being our son at school. then held the school thing over her head until we talked about communication issues between us first.
In hindsight, not a good move... I've just gotten so frustrated over her behaviour of just plain avoiding talking about anything important, when I ask to talk about stuff. I thought it was really important that I try to talk about how bad our communication was about a kid issue this weekend, so that potentially, it could be better in the future. So much for that idea \:\(


Last edited by Dom R; 10/22/07 03:54 PM.
My current status: june 2006. Wife ran out and filed D.
Finalized Jan 11, 2010, after 12.5 years M.
3 wonderful sons caught in the middle