I don't have time to give justice to your post b/f I get the kids off to school, so I'll save it for when I return.
I agree, it is very sad to be excised from a M/family. Especially sad when it seems like the excise comes easily after all the time spent together.
You don't really know how your W is responding to your somewhat new, not only lack of pursuing, but almost a complete backing off of excepting any invitations to spend time with her. So, the jury is still out, in my mind.
Happy to hear that you pushed(in a good way ) past it.