impossible wife?

[Dom R]

morgan: I dont think that I make it difficult for her to back down: I dont sit there gloating.
However, in HER mind, she may think I am. In fact, she has accused me numerous times of being judgemental.
She has a lot of things that she accuses me of, IN HER MIND.
ie: "you did .... just to hurt me".
Of course I didnt. but there's no way I can prove I didnt. So then she holds tightly to that as being "true". ANd then the "fact(in her mind)" that I did that to hurt her, self-generates more negative from her about me.
Me "being judgemental" is one of the negative masks she puts over me, yes. I'd love ideas on how to shatter that mask.

still trying: I havent gone all the way as far as you've said, to agree with her when she goes to extremes. But any time I agree with her that I've done something wrong on smaller things... she seems to just take it as justification that "I'm the bad person".
[which seems to be REALLY important to her: to keep me as "the bad person", which somehow excludes her from being "the bad person". that seems ultimately important to her]

I have apologized out the wazoo on things.. I dont rememeber her ever saying anything along the lines of "well you're not so bad".
The only time she seems to backpedal, would be when I repeat things that she's saying to see if thats what she means, and sometimes, she backs off a little.

But defend ME? that seems like a foreign concept to her. she doesnt defend me to herself, her family, or her friends. just the opposite. She has majorly distorted the truth to everyone about me, to the point where some of her relatives, whom I got along with, now refuse to speak to me.