"Sara, can I ask you, are you happy he is back? really, truly happy? do you worry about him? trust him? I just don't know. I see such a long road back for us, should we even go that route (which I still highly doubt). I just wonder if I even still want it....would I be happy with him again."

Morgan,

Yes, we are both truly happy that we are back together. Because we are back together better than we have been in many years. Life is a journey, and we learn things along the way. We have both learned a lot about how we get along together. That knowledge helps us to be better together than we were. That is, we know everything we can do wrong, and we avoid it.

We did not fix our marriage by ourselves. We were in a very ugly state by ourselves. We went to a Retrouvaille weekend, see http://www.helpourmarraige.com, and they taught us how to value each other, how to communicate without arguing, and how to work together. We could not have done it alone. We had all bad habits of criticizing, holding grudges, arguing about the past, negative thinking and more. We would never have dropped all that baggage if they had not helped us to see each other as people with feelings. And showed us that when one spouse had good feelings about us, then that made the other feel good too. Such simple stuff. You'd think smart people like us could figure it out.

At first I wasn't sure. We moved out of the hole that we were in by baby steps. At the time I remember thinking, "Can you fix a broken husband?" My initial answer was that I didn't think so. But I stuck with the program, and lo and behold, if you fix the relationship, the people get fixed too.

So in addition to really sexy lingerie, Victoria's Secret is nice, but Frederick's is hotter, I also recommend Retrouvaille. Because it fixes the communication, and marriage is all about communication. And sex is just one form of communication.

I think if you did date your H would be very jealous, perhaps even jealous enough to drop OW. He's jealous now imagining you with other men. If it were real it would be a big eye opener to him.