not sure I can stomach it, but part of me thinks it could be fun. kind of wind things up a bit.
I'm glad I posted about what happened today. I was so embarassed I didn't plan on it. but glad I did.
wish I had been a little more selfish about it today, btw. I gave way more than I should have. and wtf happened to him? he keeps saying I turn him on too much and things end way quicker than they ever used to. no, not so soon that I would say there is a problem, but sooner than I would like. sorry for tmi here, but its really annoying. I'm actually a bit unsatisfied. If I'm going to go that route, dammit, I think I should feel well sated.
Yes yes yes!!
Boy o boy o boy. If we weren't on separate continents, I'd swear you were doing my h!
Yeah...I turn him on too much too. where's my fun? Why do I have to concentrate!!! Shouldnt' I be able to go with the flow and take what I need out of it? Well, the reality seems to be that if I 'ride him to hell and back' like Ginger suggested (btw *snort* at the analogy) it wouldn't bloody last long enough for me to get my jollies!!!
theotherhalf, I don't initiate, h does. I actually wonder what would happen if I did initiate sometime. would he back off, feel pursued? or would he be like me, give in to temptation? easier for me to give in, I think, since he is my only source right now.
I suppose in a way I did initiate since I made the grab for the phone that started the whole wrestling match. so in a passive aggressive way, I suppose I did, sort of.
the last time I truly initiated was when I got drunk off my ass on his birthday and wanted goodbye sex. damn good sex that night. hmmm...maybe that's the problem, maybe I need to initiate.
okay, where is my mind going here? I had fully decided this couldn't happen again at all because, eewwww, gross. and now here I am making plans to seduce him?
definitely a good thing that I won't see him for a good 48 hours.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
and things end way quicker than they ever used to.
In my sitch, it takes my H longer now. Don't know if that is a age/health issue, or if it's because he is getting plenty from both....a**hole!
try not to think the latter (but I do). Cuz it makes me sick!
Quote:
If I'm going to go that route, dammit, I think I should feel well sated.
Hell Yea!!!
M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
and ya know, theother half, thinking about what you said about what you need and such, I would love, love, love to make love again someday. I can't remember the last time we did that. its all down and dirty sex...which can be fun, very very fun, but I miss ml. sigh. someday.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
Yea what is going on in my sitch is FAR from ML. I would give anything for H to reallykiss me. Without asking. To initiate.
Will it ever happen? Who the hell knows.
At this point I feel I'm on the fence. If I stop initiating, will I loose this connection with H completely? Or will he start to initiate with me. If he does, I will gain much confidence that one day he is going to return.
That is how important I feel this issue is with us. That is why it is so hard for me to stop doing what I am doing. But I will... for now....
M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
lol... good things don't always come to those who wait.
M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
