mk, maybe I am just a masochist. seriously. I don't think having my h for a f-buddy is a good idea at all, but somehow I also don't see myself out there just finding some random guy to fulfill the needs, so when faced with sex or no sex, sometimes I guess I just opt for sex.
its weird, last saturday night at the db meet, everyone was so appalled when I said H wanted me to look at him the other month when we last did this (the storyland debacle). I wouldn't look at him...couldn't. so this time when he wanted me to look at him, I did. I stared right into his eyes...and wondered what the hell he was thinking, if anything. why does he want me to look at him. why the connection?
I don't know, maybe I should start dating. I wonder about that. I wonder if it would be healthier, honestly. because the last thing I want is a cake-eating H. I do agree, btw, about his self esteem issues. I never would have pegged him for someone with them, but I've been slowly seeing them since this all came out. I think that is part of what it is with her...she attracts guys like flies to honey, and I think it give him an ego boost to be with her. he has a lot of baggage, a father who never wanted him for one. I would think that right there would be huge for someone's self-esteem, whether they realize it or not.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
