NikkiB #21

[NikB]

Thanks f21! Glad you liked the pics. Thinking about you as well and need to catch up on you soon. Hope that you're doing well!

ST and f21
Yep, I made that meat and cheese bouquet. Weird, I know, but I thought it was kinda cute. A coworker of mine did one a few weeks back for someone's birthday. We always exchange flowers - this time the girl having the birthday wasn't much of a "flowery" kinda girl but she LOVES to eat!! So we found something like this online (for a ridiculous amount of money), and my other very creative coworker tackled the project. I knew I wanted to make it for a party sometime and this cooking club thing seemed like the perfect opportunity.

I thought the other one my coworker made actually turned out better because she had a cooler vase but I had fun with it and yes, lots of comments!

ST
Ahh yeah, pre first bomb, no way. I'd have felt guilty going on a vacation without my H. Heck I felt guilty spending a weekend somewhere with my family and without H, or even traveling for work.

Glad you liked the pics! I had fun with the flower/garden ones - perfect lighting and time of day so I thought I'd play around with it some.

Having kind of a weird Sunday... not bad exactly but just feeling kind of strange. I'm listing a ton of stuff on eBay this afternoon. It's stuff that's been piled up in the office for months and I've been procrastinating on selling it. Not because I want to keep it, just being lazy... but now I need to finish it up so I can clear out my new bedroom. I alternate between excited and completely freaked out by the idea of moving into another room, so I think that's what is bothering me.

Part of me thinks I should just get a place that's completely my own, but think I owe the separate bedroom thing at least a chance, first. I just don't know if I can live in the same house with H but not caring at all what he's doing. I'm trying to envision it and it is just hard. Like this AM I was trying to ignore it but he was sitting here texting his latest EA (or maybe the first one, who knows, but one of them) for about half an hour. I realize it's out of my control and I realize I don't have much "say" in what he does but it still hurts and pisses me off. He knows it because he half hides it (just not that well), but doesn't care enough to quit doing it.

I guess if I totally lock myself in my new room and avoid him entirely I won't have to see it... reality is I will still see him when I'm cooking, doing laundry, etc. though. And I can already imagine OT saying that unless I'm fine with him bringing dates home this isn't a good long-term solution (and I will never be OK with that). I dunno, guess we will just see how it goes.

I laughed this morning when he asked me something about a stain on one of his shirts. Kinda forgot that my mind shifted a lot while I was gone but his didn't. He still expects me to do all the normal "wife" things. Will have to figure that out. I might still be fine w/doing laundry in trade for him doing all the yard work or something, but I want it to be very defined more like a roommate situation.

Any thoughts on how to talk to H about this stuff? He has no idea I even ordered the sofa/bed thing.. knows I rearranged some furniture but that's about it. Do I just get the room set up and "move" without ever saying anything?? That seems kind of odd... but I'm also not sure how to bring it up. I thought about bringing up the topic again where I said I'd look for a place and say that here's what I proposed instead until we get things sorted out... I'll move into the room, will do ABC chores if he does XYZ chores, will pay half the mortgage for now with the understanding that he may want to buy me out of the house later on (somehow I want to include that I don't plan to buy/keep the house.. that either he'd buy me out or we'll sell it). Or that may all be way too formal, I dunno. Thoughts are welcome!