I was a really bad mother. We didn't have Chuck E Cheese in our city, it was about 40 miles away where we often shopped. I got where I would tell my girls instead of going to Chuck E Cheese let's go to Toy R Us. That way I got to eat much better and they still got the toy.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
I think they would settle for TRU too. In fact D5 said "If I only sleep in my bed 3 out of 5 nights, I'll take the High School Musical 2 movie. My little negotiators....
I think they would settle for TRU too. In fact D5 said "If I only sleep in my bed 3 out of 5 nights, I'll take the High School Musical 2 movie." My little negotiators....
I haven't been on the boards lately. I'll try to update everyone as best as I can.
Last week I went to the NASCAR race and had a really good weekend just getting away and forgetting about the mess at home. D5 seems to have a hard time while not being with one of her parents. Every time I called she cried on the phone wanting me home and she does the same thing wanting my W when she is not around. It really sucks this is how life is going to be for her and her sister. At this point all I can do is try to make this easier on my girls, I just cannot take away all the confusion and pain that this D is going to create in their young lives.
This past weekend I had my little ladies. The weekend really seemed to have started for us on Wednesday. My girls and I spent the night at my parents house and then hung-out there Thursday night. Friday night we went to a friends house to hangout with him and his family. Then on Saturday we went to a kiddie haunted house then to a Halloween party. Sunday was the normal, church then football at my friends house.
Last night, I had softball. The softball season is officially over. We ended up taking second place which is a bit disappointing but at least we won some money. For last nights game I was really hoping that my girls would have been able to go to it. But, my STBXW would not allow them to go with me while she was in counseling. I understand that she wanted to be with them as much as possible since she hasn't seen them since last Wednesday. The one thing that I felt from my conversation with my W about our girls night was that I really hate hearing her tell me that she misses our girls while I have them for the weekend. Every time I hear comments like that I want to smack her upside her head and tell her this is what you have chosen for your life and our girls - get used to it. I am no longer very compassionate towards her feelings. Heck....I sometimes think good for you I hope it hurts..... I know it is not the right attitude but sometimes the feelings of bitterness comes out.....
Some more updates..... I close on the refi to my house this Thursday. From there my W is free to go close on her new home. The one thing is that she can have her home but our girls cannot live there until the D is final. We have provisional orders stating just that....I have a feeling she is going to fight me on that, but, I cannot let her just take our girls until this is all over with. The reason I cannot let her move the girls out is that her L has made it clear that he wants this all to get uglier...so it really just protects me from some of the legal garbage that might go on.....
Not much to say here. Keep strong. Protect the emotional well-being of your girls. I have NO doubt that they know that daddy loves them.
You know the procedure: -never speak negatively of mommy in front of them; the only losers will be you and the kids -don't let her push your SCOTT BUTTONS -be the rock..NOW...for your kids.
We will shake it up someday.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
I find it strange for me that as time has gone on that this board has gone from being one of my life lines to now me just lurking... I don't know if that is a sign of me stepping off the roller coaster and accepting that I am going to be a divorced dad of two beautiful girls. Or a sign of me growing as a person through this painful time. Or something entirely different??
Since the last time I posted a lot has happened and a lot has not happened. It is still clear that my W wants out and is pushing for our M to be over. In her words "I am pathetic and so was our M". Yeah, she said that to me last Wednesday. I for the most part have been able to avoid conflict, mainly by avoiding her. But she still finds way to push buttons. For example, last week while at work she went into how bad I am treating her during this D and that I will get what I have coming to me. There was a lot more said but you can see where she is at....still mad, and I am still to blame for this. I still do not understand how I am treating her badly, I guess not rolling over and playing dead is me being difficult. All of the verbal assaults still hurt. When she starts to dig in with the emotional knife it still hurts like hell....but I have found that I bounce back quicker then I once did. I no longer go into a deep depression that I cannot shake. The crazy thing through all of this I am still trying to leave the door open for her to comeback. But like my mom told me the other night that it is sad that my W is no longer the person that I fell in love with. I still see bits and pieces of her...but she is right.... My W would have fought like hell for our family...this woman impersonating my W does not have it in her.....
We are scheduled for our first court date on the 29th. Then in the first week of December my W, L's and I are scheduled to have a settlement meeting. Hopefully we can come to some agreement, because if not it will cost me not only from a legal sense, but from all the other extra bills that I am taking care of right now.
My job is going well. Though we did just go through a round of RIF's. It actually is the third time this year that they let people go. I guess with all the trouble banks are having this year it is to be expected. As of now I am not worried about my job, which is good. But it is something that you have in the back of your mind as you see colleagues being let go.
My girls are doing pretty good. I think not having the family unit that they once had is hard on them but they are adjusting. I have them for Thanksgiving and this coming weekend. I think they need a weekend at home, so I am planning on getting the Christmas decorations out and the three of us decorating.
The last weekend that I had my girls we drove down to Nashville for my cousins wedding. We had fun and just enjoyed being around family. No other trips planned at this point....but I was thinking of getting away with my girls for a few days over the week of new years.
I guess that is the long story...her is the shorter version if you don't want to read through all of it. The short story is that we all are still under the same roof and the D is still going through. My W has now bought her new place and is ready to move out....but....the signed court papers at this time say otherwise...
I guess that is it for now. I hope everyone is doing well.
Scott, I have to disagree with her. It's not you and the marriage that is pathetic, it's her that is pathetic. I can't believe that you are being so "mean" to her. How dare you stand up for yourself and your girls! You know that you are supposed to let her walk all over you! She needs to learn to deal with the consequences of ruining a beautiful family.
Scott, you are a wonderful man and father. You will be the one that comes out on top. She will be the loser. She will realize one day what she lost. Hopefully, she will wake up before it's too late. Somewhere in her fog is the woman that you love and married, I just hope she can follow your light to safety.
((((((HUGS)))))))
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
You're a good man and a great father. I am saddened for you -- I know you put your heart and soul into doing what is right for your family. But I know you will make the best life for your DD's as you possibly can given these circumstances.
Keep your focus on God, and He will help you in caring for your girls.
All of the verbal assaults still hurt. When she starts to dig in with the emotional knife it still hurts like hell....but I have found that I bounce back quicker then I once did
This is exactly how I feel.
Scott, wow. Your wife is still so angry (as is my H, so I know how hard it is), and she is going to crash soon. Whether its before or after your official D, I don't know. But I am so sorry. I am glad you are such a great dad, because of you and your stability, they are adjusting to their new lives.
