Hey -- don't mean to hijack Jen's thread, but I will respond to what H's pain was and that was exactly what you just described about the lack of physical intimacy, etc. in our marriage.
Yes, he was completely and totally wrong in having the A's (pleural I might add) and I do not place the BLAME on me at all in any way, however, HE felt validated in the A's in the fact that he was not getting what he needed at home and that was not just the physical intimacy, but the emotional connection as well.
Now, don't get me wrong, I do not think H was truly RIGHT in any of what he did. He truly could have gone about the whole sitch in a totally different way. Unfortunately, the A's began way back when our 7 yr old son was only about 18 months old. He was deployed, feeling neglected before he left, therefore cheated (supposedly no sex but WHATEVER at this point).
Anyway, I am just so very glad that I had my wake up call and it was in time to work things out and right now all I want is for him to get home (he's again deployed for a year) so we can get on w/ this wonderful, intimate marriage I now want and will work daily for.
I will also add that your W probably has no understanding of how much pain you truly are in daily by the lack of the physical/emotional intimacy. I'm glad things are getting better for you, but I hope that she truly understands what you have been and are going through as far as feeling rejected, lonely in your own home, etc., because I didn't get that until it was almost too late.
Last edited by RedHeadWife; 10/21/0704:15 PM.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
