Happy Together at Long Last!!!

[ediemarie]

Hi Jen Jam -
I've never posted to you before, but always appreciate the insight you offer - great stuff!

I can't help but jump up and down to your post and scream yes yes yes! It is so easy to hold this stuff against my H. I have come to understand though, in terms of my sitch, that I hang onto that stuff as some sort of protection. If I let it all go and forgive him completly and leave the crap in the past that means I'm opening myself up to possibly being hurt again. This is the most painful stuff of life and by totally forgiving we are vulnerable and have to trust that they won't hurt us again - crazy, right? In so many ways the hurt spouse has so much more work to do than the offending spouse. I know that I hold onto the past and the hurt and I know I do it because it's easier to hang onto it then it is to trust him again. I don't think you want revenge, I think you want to trust your H and you're scared. If you wanted revenge you would have Carrie Underwood-ed him by now.