Happy Together at Long Last!!!

[Jen_Jam]

OK, I am feeling a lot of bad feeling towards H. He's done nothing wrong lately, but I KNOW he did "nothing concious" to get himself out of his depression, while I worked SO DARNED HARD on me ... I can hold my hand on my heart and say that I will never again be that horrid, mean, scared, lowly person I once was and when i feel myself slipping back there I have the tools to get me back to my wonderful self pretty quick.

I can't say the same of H. What on earth is to stop him slipping off into another alien baby mode? it's all going great for him right now, but I just wonder what will happen when the [censored] hits the fan again - will he just fall over?

he's just come up while I was typing this and asked what was wrong, had he done anything etc etc. i told him I would tell him in 2 days (the 48 hour rule, no point me making decisions of any kind when i'm like this, I need a cool head) then he started apologising that we're not going out and he's watching the rugby world cup final ... I just told him that the rugby is no problem and asked him to stop trying to guess what the problem was, i'd tell him in 2 days as I promised. ARGH!!! Whay does he STILL think he's a mind reader?

Sorry - I feel a bit bad posting this when there are others on here still trying to cope with having their still beating hearts ripped out of their chests (I have yet to come across a pain so intense as when your spouse tells you they don't love you and want a D). I suppose I am posting as a piecing record, I notice not many hang about after piecing, could be "woo hoo I'm happy don't need that site anymore" or could be "i just want to forget it happened and focus on the future". Am I clinging to the past too much? Or is this just a symptom of H's method of "no talks" during our bad times, when I had to push all my needs aside. Am I just bitter? Am I clinging on to the past? Do I want some kind of revenge? ARGH!!!!