I don't think your H is back with OW. If he was, I think he would be sneaking around to keep it going and wouldn't be acting like such an idiot. Maybe he thought he would be able to reconnect when he went back to the school. Maybe this is the climax of him dealing with his rejection.
lwb-
How ya doing tonight? Neph has a great thought. Could have been slap in the face to your H.
Let me know how you are.
SueS
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
hey lwb...how are you? am thinking about you. you have a field trip today, right? so not going to worry until tomorrow if I don't hear from you. if you get this before you leave, have a wonderful time! 5 year old boys aren't tooo bad.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
neph, I don't think they are physically back together. I am sure OW's H has a tight leash on her. But obviously they still care a lot for one another.
Sue, I am sorry you went through this before, but it makes me feel better that H's behavior is kind of 'text book'. And yes, being ignored is horrible. Just answer the freaking question.
Mark, sent you some emails. Thanks for checking on me.
husband, I'll hang in there, if you promise to as well. Thanks for the update on Cali.
hi miss morgan, you have mail too.
Quote:
he was mad at me was to say to him once and very seriously that all I wanted was for him to be happy because I was sure he was a great person.
I am sooo glad this might be a good thing to do because last night I told him "You are a good person, with a wonderful big heart. You are an amazing husband and father. You just fell off track, and fell hard. I don't want to see you sinking. I want you to be happy. You need the freedom to be happy and I want to give that to you". Some other things too, but it was soooo similar to what you typed. I do honestly want him to heal.
I had had some busy days but its been tons of fun. Field trip was amazing and the Halloween party at D5's school was sooo nice. Of course, we had to 'trick or treat' by OW's car, and she gave my girls candy. There was no avoiding it, really. H wasn't with me, the sinners stayed at their separate cars and handed out candy. I was all smiles (and by the way, all dressed up with new clothes on, so there!) and the girls said thanks and we moved on. I could not look at her but I was very composed. I saw OW's H later and we talked briefly. Just hi's and how are you's, but it was very comfortable. We deserve that.
According the H, OW is not taking his calls (probably can't or she will be divorced) and he was very surprised that she put that note on his car. I feel so bad for OW's H. I feel like I owe more loyalty to him than my own H. I know H will be furious if I tell him, but still haven't decided. H said last night "As far as I know, they are working on their marriage". I calmly said "He might be, but she isn't, and that's not fair".
I have a very sick D3 and 20 women coming to my house for a spa party tomorrow. My very selish H went out straight after the party and left me to tend to tired, sugar filled babies, one with a fever. I was mad, but now I am fine, because they were great, I was there for them, and there were no eggshells. But H stayed up late with me last night, cleaning up a wet bed, checking D3's temp and really helping a lot. Whatever, alien! Hope everyone is well.
You never cease to amaze me. You are that rock without fail.
Poor D3. I hope she feels better soon. I guess it;s that time of year where everyone starts getting sick. Fooey on your H for taking leace. Ive been getting a lot of that too. "I guess I'll go. You have your hands full." I wanna yell out "Yeah, give me a hand, will ya? on't be a scmuck!" Instead I smile and say "OK. Have a good day."
((HUGS))
Me29 H33 D9 months S2 S9(previous R) Sep 8-19-07 I file 11-5-07 H home (Retro) 2-15-08 "Today is the tomorrow of yesterday." -- S9
LuvMyHusband Me: 41 H: 43 ch: 3 M: 7+ T: 10+ Bomb: EA 8/07, A over phone/net 10/07 Seperated: 9/07 H ended A/EA with OW again on 1/2008 Reconsile: 3/26/2008, H admitted PA
This is one that gets me as well. I have a job that allows me the flexibility of working from home. So.. anytime our D's are sick and can't go to school, I'm the one who stays home. Now, there are days where I have appt's scheduled etc and I can't. But I get accused of being selfish and caring more about my job than anything else.
I get them up/dressed and fed every morning and off to school. If it's not her school night, I at least give one D a bath If it's not her school night, I at least put one D in bed Her school night's (2-3 nights) I do both. I cook.. clean the kitchen, do the laundry, grocery shop, plus all the "manly" duties.. mow grass, car maintenance, garbage.
IT sounds like guys had a productive talk at least. HE sounds like he is trying to at least be honest. That was nice that he helped last night.
I am curious sometimes after something like this happens it is soooo hard to find your way back for both parties. Maybe it could be a giid thing if you initiated some suggestions like a date. Or even some intimacy between the two of you. Maybe he knows deep down how bad he has hurt you and just can't find the words or the courage for the action. Maybe if you invited him bavk to the bed it could possibly show him it is okay. You still love him and desire him. I don;t know just thinking out loud. Sometimes when the same old isn't working you can shake things up and try something new.
You are so strong it's amazing. WOW I couldn't ever be as composed as you when around the demon lady.
Thanks for the hugs.