He's on Match.com

[Trixi]

Oh Dom... I wish I could be as optimistic. I think he is cake eating big time.

When he said "nothing was changing" he meant that he was unable to commit and we were stuck in the same old rut as when he lived here. He said it at a time that he was very distant and cold. It was actually sounding like a lead up to a bomb- but I diffused it when I turned and crossed his lap to face him.

Actually,I think I pressured him too much. I talked about getting a motorhome; we went to the animal place and after dinner he said he just wanted to get back and chill out with his guitar and I said "well, if we had a motorhome, your guitar would be right here and you could lay down for a nap." Another time we were talking about TVs and I said "well, if you decide to come back, we should get a such and so tv". That's why when he stayed over an extra night he told me not to get any "crazy ideas" and the same night that he told me that "so far" we were dating exclusively. AND, he slapped me down for suggesting that my Husband live with me; his response "We're ONLY dating".

He called earlier today and said "um, I think I'm just going to hang out here tonight. But I'll be over tomorrow morning sometime."
Huh. So, I am supposed to believe that he wants to "hang out" in the apartment he hates living in (his words), oddly enough, right after he has been active on Match.com. Riiiiggght. <rolls eyes>


He is ACTIVELY looking for someone. He is using me until someone better comes along. How can I see it any other way? Over on the MB site, Dr Harley said this to me: "From my perspective, a date from a husband who is "dating" others would run the risk of being emotionally catastrophic for you. It's his suggestion that you do such a thing that makes me wonder if he's not borderline sociopathic. It's downright cruel.

Your best bet right now is to sit tight in Plan B and wait for the fog to clear. My most optimistic assumption is that your husband has been having affairs during most of your married life, and he's in one now that has captivated him. When the affair is over, he may come clean and explain to you what's been happening all along. If that really hasn't happened, and he really does want to compare you with other women he dates, I'd strongly encourage you to end your marriage, in spite of the negative ramifications. Marriage should be a relationship of extraordinary care, and for your husband to leave you at a time that he has a clear mind is evidence that he's your worst enemy. He's using you, not caring for you."

In response to a different post, Dr Harley said "However, I must repeat what I said earlier that anyone who leaves his wife just to see if there's something better out there has serious character issues."


My H is not having affairs. He is clear headed.

A bold woman would say "F you. Call me when you have you sht together and maybe I'll have time to talk to you."
I have to wonder why he mentions that a lot of women would tell him to f off. It isn't the nice ones that would do that; it isn't the meek ones that would do that; it would be a confident woman who knows she has plenty to offer and doesn't need to be waiting around for his sorry a$$.