Nope... not coming around, just reliving things from our relationship.
I pushed.. turns out he's ignoring her in a way. It makes her feel like when she was with me.
We talked quite a bit tonight. She basically told me she has been afraid of me for 3 years and was afraid to tell me. She told me a bunch of other stuff, but it all boils down to she can't express her feelings and I've hurt her too bad. She doesn't feel bad about what she's done.
So.. as we are talking, she asks me to be her friend. Well... she complains that he invites her over and works while she plays with his kids and cleans his house. This makes her feel unimportant and the way she felt with me. Which she was more than happy to say she was trying to get away from "no offense".
So.. her BF calls and she ignored it the first time. We had some weather roll through, so she stepped outside to call him. 30-45 minutes later, I've had enough. I left. I told her she was being rude. Doing exactly what she didn't want him doing to her.
So we texted a little back and forth last night. She said she was sorry, and I responded it was no big deal. Had to let our dogs in anyway.
She texted this morning and we went back and forth until she said she had to go.
She called this afternoon.. She was surprised that I was in a good mood. She was heading to her advisor appt and we chatted pretty much the whole time.
I like the friend approach, but she is getting a little more open about her and OM. She was talking about a kid in her class and how the dad had hit on her. I asked if he was cute and she says "No... no offense, but OM is waaay cuter" then she went on to talk about how this dad didn't care about the kids and that's one thing OM and I are good at. I played it off, I'm sure she's testing me. She's bringing D's over at 5, and I told her I was going to grill out and she was more than welcome to stay for dinner (I knew she would have plans) she said she was going to a friends and then told me about their plans for tomorrow evening (back to the scene of the crime.. stupid bar) We talked about bars for a while and generally kept it friendly.
Not sure how much of that I can stand... I guess I need to let it go. Just roll.. I can be an ear for her. I just have to be careful.
She called after her appt to tell me what classes she will be taking and when. I currently watch the D's at her place on Thursday evenings since she has class. Well... next semester that will be going away. She will be taking day classes.
We talked for a little bit about school and whatnot. She said she'd have the girls over at 5 and she'd talk to me later.
She sounded very hesitant... like she wanted to say something.
You situation sound a lot like mine in ways. Hang in there I know this OM stuff is almost imposible to deal with, but I think you have a real chaance of getting your W back. She still seems really confused.
I know my W has been texting a guy she meet a couple weeks ago and it really gets to me it makes me often times just want to throw in the towell. The last 2 days I had easy opportunities to snoop and didn't do it, although it is a hard thing to do. Maybe tell her you want to be her friend, but you are not interested in hearing anything about OM.
Me - 34 W - 33 S - 5 D - 4 M - 14 years Bomb 1 Dec 06 Bomb 2 Aug 07 Separated - Aug 07 WAW Renting own place - Dec 07
It's odd, but I'm starting to get to the point of acceptance.
I think the best thing for me to do is let her talk. Show her I can be a friend and someone she can talk to. Another thing she mentioned was that he would talk to her while he was working, but she could tell he wasn't into her. I think that will be important.
She says she wants to be #1 to someone. That's what I should give her.
So this is where we are going to get strained. I was with W last night and she told me she hadn't heard from her L, but I get a response from her L today. Basically asking for more money etc. She told me she was afraid to tell me.. she was scared.
Not sure it's a good time now. We met at BK so our D's could eat and play. We hung out for a while.. man she looked good. I have a Blackberry, so while I'm getting email, she's asking if it's a girl texting me. I told her no, but I could tell she couldn't believe me.
As she was leaving, I was texting a friend and she was asking if it was a girl.. I told her no again and she just gave me an odd look.
She texted me to give the girls a hug for her and for me to have a good night. I replied I will and her too.
I'll put the D's down and go work out.. then I'm going to watch a movie.
She told me she was afraid to tell me.. she was scared.
This is par. I have never, ever even raised a hand to her. Although I am not a pacifist, I am not violent, and I have never hit anybody since I got into a fight in high school.
Yet my wife cannot sleep for fear that I am going to kill her in her sleep. I am not making this up, and she is not exaggerating her genuine fear.
While I agree and concur, I'm 6'6" and a former Marine. I have been told that I'm intimidating even though I'm basically a big wuss. I hate conflict. Not a good combo, but it works for me. She basically said last night she's been afraid of me for 3 years. Good info to know now huh?
Yeah, agree. Although (compared to you), I'm a diminutive 6'0" 200 pounds, I work out three or four times a week and run 20+ miles/week.
This is why I'm not worried about being on my own. There's no shortage of single men my age who are bald, underemployed, and 40+ pounds overweight. Simple economics: Low supply = high demand. Knowing this give me the confidence to detach.
And she's full of crap telling you she's afraid of you. Your wife and mine know that we would not hurt them (or anybody, unless provoked and it became necessary).
