in some ways, she's "right". not in the sense that you dont have the right.. she IS your wife. But she's right in that you should not have expected any kind of compassion from her at this point. because SHE [not "we"] is very far from being at a place where she takes you into account for anything. I think you already knew this. So, be smarter next time [and cover your nuts ]
Yeah, I know but you're right to tell me again. I need to hear it obviously. Thanks for looking out.
It just drives me nuts. I don't think I would have such a bad time with it if the weekend hadn't gone as well as it did. And she'd made comments in the past about *possibly* looking for a job where I'll be so I thought maybe we had crossed the me to we bridge. Apparently not. I know I'm whining to the choir but I *hate* this.
She called and left a message saying Just wanted to reassure you that I love you. I don't know what to do with that anymore. It's great to hear but if it's in her head that she can't handle the separation, which I cannot change, then I'd rather not build up a fresh layer of good memories to torment me when it falls to crap later. I guess I'm just feeling a little helpless and a lot sorry for myself.
I'm stoked about Retrovaille and also concerned. I'm hoping for some kind of big deal and what if it isn't? What if it's just a weekend of her communicating to me that she doesn't want to carry on, that I'm fun right now but she can't go forward with me? In an effective manner, of course ;). I just don't know if I can handle that. But I do know that I have to get my head on straight before hand because nothing good will happen if I go in expecting the worst. I'm exhausted but having you all helps. More thanks than I can say
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