Feeling a lot better today. Still pretty sore & all of a sudden the pain meds seem to be making me feel sick to my stomach, whereas I used to be able to take them like candy. I guess that's good so that when I do have to get off of them, I'll be ready. I think I just need to be eating more. I've been really tired yesterday & today & napping both in the morning & in the afternoon. I guess my body's just telling me I need to rest while I heal.
My stomach is all swollen I guess from the inside -- I look & feel like I just had a baby !!!! I'm going to get the family joined up w/ a gym and start working out again once I'm healed. I have been able to keep off the weight I lost during the whole D sitch and actually maybe lost more so now I want to tone up & keep it off. Plus it has a daycare so that will work out and I can also take the boys swimming. Also, one of the things H and I always said we were going to do and never did was go work out together so I will make sure we actually start doing that when he gets back.
Having weird dreams w/ the meds. Had one today that H slept w/ someone again over there. Talked to him today and just said "we are still ok, right? I had a disturbing dream, that's all."
He emailed me and told me that he truly loves me and that he wishes the dreams would stop. He said they actually haunt HIM because he doesn't want me to be worried anymore. He said that he also knows that I bottle up my emotions about the whole sitch b/c I'm afraid to talk to him about it b/c I'm afraid he will get angry. Which is partly true -- that he will get angry, but also just don't want him to get "sick" of hearing about it. Yes, he apologized, etc., but still pretty much acts as if nothing happened. I also don't want to continue to dwell on it all either, so I'm glad to know how he feels. I know that when he gets back, we will be able to talk about things when needed.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
