I have to agree w/ others -- first, if you are comfortable w/ it, tell her about our site here; secondly, hopefully from coming here, she will figure out she needs to look at herself before she starts pointing all the fingers at her H.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10