unfortunately, I HAD been getting better, but somehow I got scared out of my pants last night. H had gotten home, but I didn't know it and he was standing in the doorway of the bathroom while I was teaching s9 how to clean the bathtub (delegating some work!) and I turn around and jump a foot in the air screaming. I'm sure it was quite hillarious, but my back doesn't think so today. H felt bad. and now I'm definitely not going to the octoberfest tonight. \:\( probably a good thing though cuz I probably would have done too much and regretted it Sat. Luckily, I'm still okay, just a little worse than yest now.

I feel totally terrible. After our "fight' the other night, he comes home last night with a new laptop. says he got it partly for me to take with me to Wichita. I'm kinda thinking that he really wanted it himself, and we can't exactly afford it, but if he really was doing it for me, then that is cool, and I told him I really felt bad about the other night. He said don't worry about it.

I really wish I could go tonight. I'm definitely letting him go if he wants. I hate it when I feel like I screw everything up. I know it's not really my fault, but it's my back, so it sure feels that way.

Nikki, I need to follow in your footsteps.. your doing so many cool and fun things. I can't really afford to do all that your doing, but I need to find something for myself and Gal again. I haven't done that for a long while.

on a fun note, my fish had babies again and I didn't even know it! They must be at least a week old or so. The parents are soo good with them, making sure they all stick together, and they take turns watching. I hope they last this time.

Me 33 H 34 S9 S3
M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs)
EA/PA 1/2006
DB 5/2006
H wants D 6/2006
H wants ME 8/2006
H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006
H erased OW off phone! 2/2007

"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."