thanks for the hugs Jules! amazing to think we can find such good people, we never actually meet but we help each other so much. wow. Rockies in 4?
So here's my journaling for the week: no big happenings. went to Parent Dinner at Ds school. OW did not show her face. Spouse specifically didn't go because she thought OW was going. Screw 'em I had a good time. I have not laid eyes on OW all week but it's bound to happen given the school sitch. I will of course continue to look like the ultra happy, fulfilled person that I am whenever I see her.
I know spouse has emailed with her and I saw one phone call. I am hoping of course that OW gets pissed and cuts contact with spouse as I don't think spouse has the make up to quit cold turkey yet. I do know spouse had a serious talk and told OW it was over. The friendship dream continues. This too will end. My fear is, of course, they have done this reduced contact thing before and it never held up so why should I think it will work now? But spouse has told me she picks me. Now we just need to get reconnected. And to that end:
One thing spouse said was she wished we could do more weekend travel together. So we begin with a trip this weekend. DD has a concert Saturday night so we will leave for an overnight directly from the concert and spend Sunday in the country. Should be fun.
I feel very much in limbo, but a new limbo. I have heard spouse say she wants me. Ok, now what? She has not moved into our bedroom yet. Not much physical affection yet. In general she is much more relaxed around me. She just left me a msg at work to just be "chatty" and tell me some stuff about D and school drop off. We are trying a new restaurant for dinner tonight. She prefers take-out and I prefer eat-in. We are taking out...surprise.
Reconnecting seems so hard and unpredictable. Early after the bomb I did all my reading and studying and felt I knew what to do but just didn't have the opportunity to do the work as spouse didn't want to "reconnect". Now I have the opportunity but find that I have been deeply hurt over a period of time and have protected myself and don't know how to reconnect. Plus I have been reamed for some ridiculous stuff so I am a bit gun-shy.
I guess I can just go with "act as if" and see where that gets us. Opinions anyone?
I have a shovel and I'm not afraid to use it. Stubby
