Alone

[Dom R]

Hi again Max,

I think you have a good start on things there. My guess is that at least some of the things you are saying about your past, are true. There's probably more details to it. keep at it.

I think that DR is a good book, for picking out practical, current time "actions" to do, to improve day-to-day feelings between husband and wife.
However, I think that there are other books that are better at helping you figure out "what went wrong, and how could things be better", though.

In other words, I think that DR is a GREAT book. but you should not neccessarily limit yourself to just that.
I will again suggest that you look over the downloadable questionnares I mentioned above, as one place for ideas.


As far as worrying that your wife "declaring it is over" is impossible to come back from... I think that many people's spouses here, have said that. And some fraction of those, have actually "put their money where their mouth is", and actually filed for divorce.
Yet, some people have successfully reconciled, even after a divorce is completed! So, I dont think your wife saying that, neccessarily means total impossibility.
What it definately DOES mean in my opinion, is that it will be a very long, difficult road to take, to travel from where you are now, to where the two of you might be in a position to live together as husband and wife again.
Where "long" is measured in months, or even years.
(I'm at 1 year 3 months so far. sigh)


I think your last paragraph shows a great attitude in you. Hang on to that, and keep at it!