when I was faced with the most daunting challenge of my life (the loss of the one person whom I was least prepared to lose), I treated it as I would any other problem: like a mystery or crime, to be solved by collecting all the evidence, interviewing all the witnesses, understanding motives, and eliminating false leads
lol! Oh, this is soooo me. When I first read DB/DR about, oh, four years ago, I had a preacher friend whom I was talking to about my marital crisis. He thought I was in denial, and that was my only way of coping. He may have had a point. Regardless, the process is a good one...but I recall being so sure that it would work at the time.
Well, here I am divorced, but doing really well with the xh. Anyway...that's an aside...
Quote:
Sometime during the past 4 years, I stopped being the man that my wife admired and respected.
Yes.
Oh, she probably can't quantify herself the 'why' for the divorce because it's just a vague feeling of unease and unhappiness. Got this from xh a lot. You're nearby, so you must be the problem. Easy target. She'll have to figure out that all these changes aren't really going to make her happy, before she can go back and tackle the underlying causes. It's a normal progression, and one that can't be rushed. (Thus all the waiting around on the boards.)
Regardless, the process is a good one...but I recall being so sure that it would work at the time. 
