I just got home from my son's football game. It was a nice distraction. Actually didn't think about it too much.
No words from him which is relaxing for me. When he is constant I wear down.
The whole thing makes me sad. I wish he had an ounce of integrity.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
It is so hard to stay focused on what needs to be, in these sitches. We all get so emotional. That is why we are here and that is why when you need a shoulder to sry on you can come here.
You are doing very well with the boundry you have implemented. No matter how much it hurts it would be worse to let him keep doing what he is.
You are a better person than that and don't deserve that kind of treatment from anyone.
Thinking of you, J
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
I had a hard night last night. You know, when the immediate anger, shock and rage kind of subside and you are left with reality. The reality that he is capeable of being so hurtful yet once again. The reality that it's looking like this poor child will be born into a broken home. The reality that this hurts to be so betrayed again and I let it.
I was letting my mind go somewhere it shouldn't as well. I was thinking that OW must be doing backflips right now. This is exactly what she wanted. Him away, not with his child and with her and her kids. If he happened to tell her about this yesterday I am sure she is doing the 'oh you poor thing' speech because she is such a phoney, but inside I bet she is so happy.
My goal ahead of me today is to move some furniture in the babys room out and start to get it ready to paint. I had some retail therapy yesterday and bought her bedding for her room and some little outfits and blankets. Made me feel better, but at the same time it was something that exh and I were going to do together. Guess he missed out.
Thanks Jak, trying to be strong.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Am I being immature by not returning his texts? His mom told me I ought to keep contact with him and not ignore him. Why? So I can let him eat that ginormous cake he is already?
He just sent a text asking me how my son's game was last night. I am not responding.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
No you are by far not being petty. Your Mom says that because she doesn't know about DB.
He's trying to reel you back in. Stay dark and only contact him when you have to about the baby.
Unless he shows you that he is serious about piecing your R back together you are better off emotionally, if you don't keep subjecting yourself to his crap.
J
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
Am I being immature by not returning his texts? His mom told me I ought to keep contact with him and not ignore him. Why?
She's "his mom" and doesn't want her baby to be ignored.
I think immaturity would be believing in a situation where you are being used and manipulated. Maturity would be moving forward with your life, taking care of you and minimizing unhealthy relationships.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
Ok, after hitting an Alanon meeting and a phone C session I made a decision, related it to him and made myself clear.
'I want nothing to do with you until you prove to me that you have cut all ties with OW once and for all, no excuses. You also need to quit drinking and find AA or another program to help you get sober. Stop making this R about our unborn daughter. It is between you and I and if it truly is only about our daughter then I will see you in March when she is born. You have some thinking and decisions to make. Let me know when you decide.'
Man, do I feel liberated! I know financially I will be fine without him and my kids and this baby will be ok. I do not want him back unless things are taken care of.
I feel like I have some control back.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
LOVE IT. Cut & dry, no frills, this is how it is, man, take it or leave it. NOW, just stay strong. Don't go back on it!
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
