I think that's what everyone wants. GP is a pretty mature, life-experience-mediated kind of Type 4. GP actually reminds me of LP quite a bit. Actually, my relationship with him has quite a few elements in common with LP's relationship with her Type 7 BF. GP discovered self-help/therapy rather late in life but he is pretty much sold on it now ( Something very "Sopranos"-like going on there). Our relationship is kind of odd because it's like we have the real relationship and then the meta-relationship. We'll get together in person on Friday and then on Saturday we'll spend two hours discussing how well things went on Friday and why they went well and how we can keep them going well in the future. GP is the one who initiates these discussions though obviously I'm not loath to discuss such things in my babbling manner. For instance, GP has a great talent for putting me into bunny mode. He'll behave in a manner that will make me blush and then he'll say something like "Awww..now you got that schoolgirl thing going on." Then the next day on the phone we'll discuss why I react to him in a "schoolgirl" manner and why he purposefully behaves in a manner to make me react like that because he finds it attractive. GP's catch phrase is that he wants "a relationship that is hard at work, not one in which he has to work hard."
My point is that there is a way of regarding a sexual/romantic relationship as a sort of cooperative venture to keep a positive volley of interactions going between two people. A relationship has to be fun or playful if it is going to be successful but you don't want to be playing against each other. One seriously good point that GP has made is that the sexual/romantic volley should be continuous and there is no point at which the game is over and somebody wins and somebody loses or the ultimate goal has been obtained. He would say that when we get together each bead on the chain of our interaction should be viewed as equally important and positive so that you can't really say when you reach the end of the chain. He regards sex as very important but meaningless outside of the context of our other interactions (The hilarious thing is that he naturally uses phrases like "If I wanted that I could hire a $2 crack whore." when expounding on his relationship theories- lol) so he's very relaxing for me to be around sexually because his sexual/romantic philosophy is kind of like he is in favor of spending the whole day having a meal of many little courses none of which stands out as being most important. He thoroughly believes that sharing popcorn at the movie is as important as sharing a simultaneous orgasm which is as important as joking around in the shower afterwards which is as important as talking about the interaction the next day on the phone. So being around him chills out my HD because it's like he's signaling me "You don't have to worry about the meat course, baby. It will always come around when you're with me so just sit back and relax now and enjoy your appetizer. Now, wasn't that a wonderful soup course we shared yesterday?"
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
