Seriously, neutral is better than backwards. We, humans (especially the males) feel we need to take the bull by the horns to get things accomplished. As you said, you didn't things could have progressed this far which doesn't sound neutral to me. While I can't know what is going on in her head, you do have to give her the freedom to find herself. It will take time and I am not talking about a few months. She is home. She is looking. You just need to be strong.
Again, don't feel the need to have a relationship talk. Take it from someone who tried that approach. It doesn't work. Besides, you really want your wife to bring the subject up. She is the one with the doubts.
