When I told cac about the issue with wet hair, it was not said with malice or with a nasty tone like your ex often spoke to you. I had a history of not being honest with cac because I didn't want to hurt his feelings because I felt responsible for his feelings. But not being open and honest with him contributed to our SL problems. My discussion with him about my sensitivies, including the wet hair, was part of my effort to better communicate my needs and issues with him so that he would know what they are and could try to meet them.
I asked him if he would dry his hair after taking a shower because I didn't like the smell of wet hair, because it reminded me of wet wool. I said that I didn't like the smell of ANY wet hair, S4's included.
When we discussed this issue he responded in a loving tone that he had no problem meeting my request. I'm sure that if I had been mean about it, as it sounds like your ex often was, cac could have been offended.
