Hiscott - You're right. I'll hang in there. It will be tough but I think you are right about the newness of the sep. Things won't be so tough down the road. I'll come to grips with my new life and won't worry so much about it.
C_K - good discussion!
Sandi - I know you are right and I'm pulling back from that. Just trying not to be mean in the process. Much of our discussion on Monday was about just that & she has left me alone this week. I think you are right about her testing me & I am going dark. At this moment my actions are less geared towards hoping to save the marriage, instead I'm concerned with finding my own happiness.
Am I over her? Tough call, but getting less tough every day. I still love her but I had/have a lot of anger for all the hurt she caused me over the last 8-9 months. Right I DO know that I want nothing to do with the relationship we've had over the years. I'm 100% done with that. Like hiscott said, if a new one spawns over the coming months... who knows. I still find it hard to imagine how I could take a chance at ending up in that position again. As hard as it is for me to admit, I need to start over.
Am I over our marriage and having my kids around me all the time? Absolutely not. It is going to take some time for me to come to grips with the fact that our marriage has failed.
Kids seem to be doing good. I get them for the first time at "my place" this weekend, so I'm looking forward to that. I'll also know a bit more about how they are doing. I'm afraid of losing the closeness that I have with each of the four. I'm gonna have to work very hard not to lose that.
Thanks to all for the support. It is VERY comforting for me to hear from people who have experienced what I am going through.
