When I am in a good place (which is more often than not, although it seems the opposite because I come on the boards when it is bad), I am actually thankful that H DOESN'T come back when I am a weepy mess.
What kind of life would that set up for us? He would resent me, and I would be a perpetual doormat.
No, if it to ever work, for me at least, it will be those baby steps, but working with a MC--BOTH of us, together.
OT has said that you really can't put more work into a M than your S is willing to give, in the long run. If they decide to come back, they will eventually have to pick up the slack and get to work. Not all at once--no, we have to do the heavy lifting at first, but eventually...
I just don't know how many WAS's are up for the challenge in the long run. I hope your H is one.
