He's on Match.com

[Dom R]

Well, now that I think about it, my thyroid was off the charts messed up at the time. I was the walking dead and any extra exertion made me exhausted and upset.

I had a personal trainer that I saw 3 times/wk for 1.5 hours at a time. It worked (lost weight, all that) but it killed me.

sounds like a "bad" personal trainer. Or, you didnt communicate what was important to you. or you undercommunicated that you didnt want to feel that way.
I would suggest that you get a trainer, that you can trust to tell them, "I want to get in shape: but I want to *enjoy it*, too.".

That guy sounded like the only goal he had was to make you lose weight, whether it made you feel lousy or not.

Look, don't get me wrong- I am attractive in my own way; guys hit on me at the bar- so I am not a total fat, hag or anything; But I could do to lose weight and tone up.

Everyone is attractive to SOMEONE. What is the most important, in my opinion, is whether you are doing all you can, to be attractive to the person you married.

A reasonable, mature spouse, will understand that, even if they are most attracted to [stereotype body type X], you will never be a "perfect type X". What will matter to them, is if you do your best, with what you have.
Contrariwise, even if someone "isnt that bad"... if they show zero concern about maintaining their body, it could be a turnoff to their partner.

I think your husband will really appreciate a renewed effort on your part, in that area. So long as the idea of "keeping fit" is something you are going to keep doing, rather than just a passing thing.

I will never be 25 or even 30 again. Ever. I don't want to set myself up to compete with that.

You dont have to "compete with that", in the sense of having to look better than that. But you do have to "compete", in the sense, that your husband probably wants to know that you arent in the "well, I'm married and over 30, so I dont have to bother about my body" attitude.


PS; instead of the downpayment on that house... you might consider getting the tummy tuck instead.
Husbands do not make that kind of suggestion idly.

Or perhaps, rather than running out and doing it Right Now,and dealing with surgery sideeffects, you might mention to your husband, (if you really plan to), that you are thinking about getting that tummy tuck, [some time in january] or something.

PPS to morgan: I dont think that any man wants to date a "hot bod" girl, because he's afraid of his own saggy butt. Men are waaay simpler than that. That kind of man, just wants to date someone who looks good, because that's part of what is important to him in a date. His own appearance has nothing to do with it.