doesnt sound like you quite answered my questions of, "what does he need from you to straighten up", and "why did he move out". probably becuase you dont know the answers yourself?
So, one thought for you only (because I dont know all of your background):
hostile questions dont seem like a good way to diffuse hostility towards you.
oh.. hmm. read your "back story". you're an "affair wife"
And, your husband has been the textbook case of "if he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat ON you" once already.
Sounds like:
he didnt have the internal strength of character to work on his first marriage (but instead left for you)
he didnt have the internal strength of character to work on his marriage to you 5 years ago, but had an affair with someone else
he's going through "something" now. odds are fairly high that there's an affair involved.. even if you didnt guess the "right" person. He said that he isnt seeing HER.
his "i love you" may be just from guilt, or it may be real. tough to guess.
But all that doesnt help you, i'm afraid.
Reguardless of whether he's running away because of an OW, or because he's running away because of "personal issues"... he's still running away, rather that looking to work things out together.
you attacking him, probably made him feel like that wasnt even possible.
So, probably best thing you could do, would be to 180 all that type of behaviour, and show yourself as consistently supportive, and non-threatening, and see what happens.
My current status: june 2006. Wife ran out and filed D. Finalized Jan 11, 2010, after 12.5 years M. 3 wonderful sons caught in the middle
