ILY's & ML...no fights..this is a strange S! Help!

[Gingersnap]

still nursing this horrible stomach flu - bleh! Thanks so much for the thoughts.

MK- I totally believe that H is MLC..except for the losing weight and A thing. He must be in the depressed stage. Angry, way overweight, not sleeping, etc. He was also diagnosed with low testosterone before he left. He has a hormone replacement gel he's supposed to use everyday but neglected to (he's a pharmacist so he knows how vital this is). Low testosterone causes many of his symptoms...very similar to female menopause. I'm not a nagger so I would gently remind him to use it when he was still home and leave it at that. He has said recently that he's determined to use the gel everyday to see if there's a change. And yes, his dad dying and S18 (with whom he had more of a friends relationship than father/son) leaving for college has most likely contributed.

CMC - I will totally check out your sitch. I definitely need some insight into this whole thing ....while trying desperately to not become consumed by it. I'm not sure whether I should really buckle down and cut off the sex. It would hurt me because I LOVE it..lol.

Neph - yes - I do think he's overwhelmed by responsibility and in a sense is running from it. I worry about the kids misbehaving when he's here but so far he's been a firm but loving disciplinarian when he's here and he's actually diffused more of the kids tantrums than me lately.

Dom - Right before he left I bluffed my way into trying to get an A confession out of him. Told him someone I knew had seen him with OW (and totally guessed it was someone he works with). He went into a rage, demanding to know who said it, etc. He looked me right in the eyes and said "I AM BOT SEEING HER AND YOU KNOW I'M TELLING THE TRUTH". And yes, he was. So I finally had to admit it was a bluff, but a necessary one because I couldn't live with his anger/hostility towards me anymore. He looked at me like I was a loon. In a way I was I guess. But I wanted to know what the heck was going on. He went to Tenn. for his dad's funeral that next week and when he returned he got the apartment...needing a "break from all the questioning". That's the last time we've really talked about the M. Except that he keeps saying this is not the same as last time.

SoulMate...yes - that's my challenge. Keep my focus elsewhere. I've been doing quite well. I think detachment came easy for me because H has been gone much longer than when he physically left.

Latest:

H did call last night. I was in bed early due to flu and didn't answer. Decided to call back and tell him I didn't really want to chat - but had to tell him our cell phone bill was $300 last month and on its way to that again, to please call and get a larger plan. He was in his real soft/sweet voice and said he was thinking of me and wanted to say goodnight. I thanked him and said goodnight. Good grief it all seems so ridiculous at times.

But I DO thank the Lord every time he says ILY. These are the first ones I've heard volunteered from him in MONTHS. It is nice...they aren't effusive and gushy but I'll take them.

*and I have to say, God is the number one reason I'm getting through this so well. He supplies my every need and has His hand on all of this. Just so you all know where I'm coming from as He'll be mentioned from time to time