I have concluded I just dont get it and probably never will. Since after almost 8 mos of separation I have not return on investment, I am moving toward acceptance of not ever understanding my W and a high likelihood of Divorce. Sad for my kids mostly as I know I will be fine. I cannot speak for her. She is so closed off, it is impossible to read and that is what I do for a living for the most part (or used to anyway).
If this all turns around, fantastic, however, I have some new goals.
1. Get the House thing figure out in next 30-45 days 2. Do more to further some new endeavors at my company, focus. 3. Continue to workout and be in the best shape of my life. 4. Get a little more counseling to figure out if I will ever be able to control Angry CVA. Don't want to hurt anyone like I have apparently hurt my W, beyond repair it seems. 5. Focus on my kids in terms of the time I will be spending with them in the future which may be more limited. I will miss the "little moments" for sure, so have to be thoughtful about time with them. 6. Put a financial plan in place that incorporates a full split. Do not do it out of pity or spite, just what makes sense in terms of the commitment I have made morally to my W and certainly my kids. 7. Keep up a PMA if it kills me. Smile. 8. Take the High Road and Agree, always agree, I really like this one, it may help with #4. Disagreeing always lead to anger in my case. 9. Get out and make new friends. 10. DO NOT BE SELF CENTERED if life throws a curve at me, i.e. pain or whatever.
Those are my top 10. Other than crafting my "letter / email" to my W which may accelerate a D, I dont know, that is it.
C 11
Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.