I did cave and look....yep...still alot of contact with OW. Especially when he and I were not so close and arguing alot.
I sent a simple text telling him I know there is still contact. He crossed my line and I want nothing to do with him. They both are disgusting.
He is now calling and texting over and over telling me I have no idea what I am talking about and that there is nothing going on. He has no clue I have factual information, but I can't say that. He even went so far to accuse me of fabricating this just to keep him out of our child's life. Whatever.
I am done.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
I would tell him that i have factual info. when he asks what, tell him that you are not saying and that it doesn't matter anyway as you are done unless he totally cuts the cord from her.
But that is me, you do what you need to tokeep your sanity.
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
Thanks Jak....I have that ready to say. Phone has been quiet now for about 30 minutes. I don't know why I am shocked. He even sent her a text at 3 AM!!
Some people say that since we are no longer married, he can talk to who he wants. I don't buy that. Sure he can, but I just won't be around.
I HAVE to stick to this! I cannot let him back in with out all contact broken.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
If you snoop,make sure you use the data only as reference and not use it to get back to H or get mad at him. Only so you know if contact is going on. Having said that, it is EXTREMELY DIFFICULT not to be affected by snooping.
"Some people say that since we are no longer married, he can talk to who he wants. I don't buy that. Sure he can, but I just won't be around. " I think YES, it is his choice to talk to whoever he wants. It is his choice to lie or be truthful to you about the conversation/contact. If he lies, it is your choice to not be aruond and not include him in your life. If he is truthful, then you can build up the trust from there. If he even go further than that to be more committed, then I'd say you are moving forward. So I think you are right, he can, but YOU have the choice of not being there for him. This is tough for you. Take care.
[/quote]Some people say that since we are no longer married, he can talk to who he wants. I don't buy that. Sure he can, but I just won't be around. [quote]
Don't buy it. He can't string you along and use that as an excuse.
The road goes both ways though. Since you aren't married any longer you can choose. Not to put up with his talking to other people.
Thats what boundries are for.
J
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
IF he wants this R he will have to do the work, and the fact you are no longer married should not be brought into the equation. Either he's in or out. Pretty simple.
Hang in there. Do what you need for you.
Have you seen a C?
J
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
Dang!!! I am writing all these comments down to keep myself refreshed when I get weak. Thank you all.
Yes, I see a C. She is on vacation for 2 weeks. Just when I need her. All along she has thought he was lying anyway.
I am beginning to see that his little contact with me has just been to keep his foot in the door for favors and look like he was involved with his child. All lies.
Uck, he makes me sick.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
He is bombarding me with texts denying his behavior. Even went so far to tell me how much he wants us to work out. LIAR. He is demanding to know my source. He thinks someone told me. You would think it would be better to just fess up and tell the truth.
I responded with a mix message of what I wrote down from what your comments were. Made me feel so strong. Thank you so much.
I am sure I will be posting her alot today trying to get thru this. Bear with me.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
I said he will not be in my life unless he cuts all ties with OW. Plain and simple. Either you are in or you are out.
He went on to tell me that I can't keep him from his daughter. I said she will not be born until March. I will keep him informed between now and then of how the pregnancy is going. After that we will work out visitation.
I told him I was getting stressed and had nothing more to say.
Thank you for the great responses. I am usually so worked up that I say things that I shouldn't and react way too much.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
