He's on Match.com

[Dom R]

Hey Agent... sorry for the shock you went through.

My thoughts on this:

yes, it's nice that he was only active "in the last week".
my gut feeling is that you should go with the "keep it under your hat".

Two positive thoughts:

he said 25-40. you ARE 40.

he said he was looking for someone "slender and toned". you said you're not.
but you could be

"curvy" can mean different things to different people. To women who have a problem admitting they are overweight, it means "overweight". However, to men, it can mean, "actually has a bust"

you could choose to be "curvy and toned", and I betcha you would knock his sox off.

If this were a "marriagebuilders" site, then it could be said that you have been given an incredible gift by this discovery:
You have been given a revalation that you are not fully meeting one of his "emotional needs". You so far have not fully met something that he deems important to him: to have a physically "toned" partner.
This is a gift, because you KNOW that it is something that means something to him, AND it's something you can meet, if you choose to!!

I would suggest that you choose to start up a gym plan. Possibly even with a personal trainer, if you can afford it.
Once you have started it (the day after, is fine), let him know. [with no reference to "slender and toned", even though I'm sure you'll be tempted ]

My guess is that, even if he doesnt show it directly.. the fact that you are showing initiative about maintaining your body well in this way, is going to be an incredibly strong attractant to him.

Heck, if he goes with you, and he's that type of guy, he might want to jump your bones right after you work out if so, i'd suggest letting the "date me" stuff slide, and take it as a bonding experience.

I could be totally wrong here... he could just have picked the "slender and toned" checkbox almost whimsically. But if I'm right... this could be a great thing for your marriage!

PS: and yeah, obviously, you need to speak your mind more directly, when things bother you. given the whole "bold and assertive" junk he put in there.
That does NOT mean that you confront him about this.
Possibly at the 3 month reevaluation stage, you mihgt choose to do that. but my guess is that if you choose to do the "get in shape" stuff, it will mean more to him if you dont let him know you read it off his profile.

Stupid attitude that people have, really... In some ways, it should mean MORE to people, if someone changes something because you let them know it is important to you. But seems like too many people have the opposite attitude.