Hi Mwel I think that you should reply plain and simple and say
It is because I love you and want you to be happy that I am not signing right now. I feel this is just too quick and soon. I know I can not keep you in something you want out of but I need some time myself right now to come to terms with this. I hope you can understand and respect what I need as well.
How does that sound?
I know about the shakes and freaking out. I have been doing that a lot this week. You will be fine. Deep breaths, in through the nose out through the mouth. Concentrate on this and hopefully it will calm you down some.
OKay so I told her what you said...she replied "do you know how long it will take you to sign them?" I really dont know how much time I need, should I not answer this?
I would have said the same thing....if you love her then you'd want her to be happy, even if it meant without her. I've never agreed that dragging your feet when your spouse is pushing you does anything except turn their attention to bad thoughts of you. You don't want her perseverating on what a controlling person you are (ie "he still thinks he can control me by not signing these papers"). Does the piece of paper saying you are divorced the end all? Is it also stamped with, "and you can never be together again"?
I think your wife definitely has someone else. I'm sorry, but she's in a hurry for another reason. You can't control that, but it actually is a better sign for you if she thinks she wants someone else. If she wants out just because she doesn't want to be with you, she is less likely to try again that if there is someone else that she thinks is the cat's meow. Once the luster of someone else rubs off, she might actually wonder whether she quit too soon. Just my opinion.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
Hi Mwel I think that Just_me has a point but you still need time to process this yourself. Maybe you could reply back with.
I am not sure how long it will take me to process everything that has come about. I need time to work through all of this and my own feelings as well.
Or at least something to this effect. She has to understand that you need time. How long did she think about all of this before she even clued you in that she was unhappy or leaving. Hopefully she will understand this.
I would have said the same thing....if you love her then you'd want her to be happy, even if it meant without her. I've never agreed that dragging your feet when your spouse is pushing you does anything except turn their attention to bad thoughts of you. You don't want her perseverating on what a controlling person you are (ie "he still thinks he can control me by not signing these papers"). Does the piece of paper saying you are divorced the end all? Is it also stamped with, "and you can never be together again"?
I think your wife definitely has someone else. I'm sorry, but she's in a hurry for another reason. You can't control that, but it actually is a better sign for you if she thinks she wants someone else. If she wants out just because she doesn't want to be with you, she is less likely to try again that if there is someone else that she thinks is the cat's meow. Once the luster of someone else rubs off, she might actually wonder whether she quit too soon. Just my opinion.
Im not trying to control her, Im trying to buy me some time, to extend this as long as I can. Im not a controlling person, I never was. She hasnt filled the papers yet, she told me this morning that she was next month. No the papers do not say that signing the papers will end it all nor does it say that we can never be together again, I just know that my W is that kind of person, once she is finished with you she will not want anything to do with you. I know that she has had an emotional affiar, it was all through text messaging. I do not think that she has anyone unless she is wanting the OP. She said that she is ready to move on with her life and that I should accept that. How do I reply to her email about when I will sign them?? Here is what I have so far..No I do not know when, I just need some time...You're in a really hurry. Can you please be honest with me? Is there someone else? Listen I know that you had an emotional affair with Seth. I have seen all of the signs, if you disagree Im sorry but it stated everything that you did in the book. Have you even opened the book I got you? Under the chaper about infidelity, you may want to give that a look...Should I send it?
You're in a really hurry. Can you please be honest with me? Is there someone else? Listen I know that you had an emotional affair with Seth. I have seen all of the signs, if you disagree Im sorry but it stated everything that you did in the book. Have you even opened the book I got you? Under the chaper about infidelity, you may want to give that a look...
No, don't send any of the part I quoted. It serves no purpose and she wouldn't tell you honestly anyway. I'll just tell you what she'll say and then you won't have to ask. She'll say, "it has nothing to do with Seth. I just don't want to be with you anymore. No, I didn't read the book. I don't want to bust the divorce."
Why would you give her the book? You might as well have just told her everything you intend to do (LRT, GAL, etc) and that way she can presume that it's all a ruse to get her back.
I was saying that your wife will see it as controlling. It doesn't matter what your perception is...only hers.
Quote:
I just know that my W is that kind of person, once she is finished with you she will not want anything to do with you.
She is saying she's finished with you now. It doesn't matter if you are officially divorced or not.
You don't know her as well as you think. Did you see this coming? Did you know she would have an EA? Did you see her asking for divorce? Then how do you know she won't try again with you in the future if you're able to show that you are worth consideration?
Me
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
