Firstly - the game - if you stop her accessing it at home she will only find another way - through mobile phone or internet cafe or a friends PC. You cannot control her but you can antagonise her.
Other people - if they have never stood in your shoes they cannot understand how you feel. I have had many friends in my community tell me they couldn't 'put' up with this or that behaviour from their S. They wouldn't stay M to a S that had an A etc.... Well good for them. They are not me or you and do not feel the same way. You have to do what you believe is right for you and your family. If you want to give your M every chance then I believe you are the bigger person. At the same time you can work on you. These boards have been a life saver for me. People here understand.
Like Yoyo I have also done lots and lots of reading and find that helps. If your self esteem has taken a knock and you are feeling pessimistic then try reading 'Learned Optimism' by Martin Seligman. I found this very useful. I still have another book of his - 'Authentic Happiness' to read. It has helped me learn to look at things in a better way.
The fact that your W has not actually met OM is good to a certain point. In their minds OM and her don't have a realistic view of each other and so fantasy is exciting them. Reality would probably be quite different. OM does not sound a very together sort of guy as he has issues of his own.
As Yoyo says you have 2yrs working space - make the most of it. It sounds like you have made the correct start.
Good luck.
saffie
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
