ILY's & ML...no fights..this is a strange S! Help!

[mkultra]

Quick, go to the forum on MLC. You will find many interesting tidbits that will help you make sense of your H's sitch.

Some of the most helpful facts I learned was that a person in a MLC will assume a "costume" and make "transitional friends". They may seem like aliens have taken over their bodies. They may go into "replay" mode meaning they act out as if they were much younger. They may even regress their own children and treat them as though the kids were from a time where they felt more effectual orin more control of parenting. Pretty awkward considering you have an 18, 8, 5 year old.

I am so sorry that your H seems so angry right now. This also happened to my H and yes there were triggers. Death of a loved one, a violent assault, aging appearance, EA, PA, massive weight loss, cult like behavior, change in everything, clothes, music, style, conversation, demeanor, friends. It is devastating to view. BUT it is not me and it is not you and there are ways to minimize the time they are in the fog. There are ways to protect your kids also. Portect yourself if you suspect his anger could border on abuse. Verbal abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse. My H rationalized away the verbal abuse and was one step away from physical abuse but I told him that my brother lived four blocks away and that I weighed 30 lbs more than him???!!

I may never remarry or take back my H but I believe some of the things that have happened may get him out of the fog and have protected my sanity. One thing was that early on I became very positive and never questioned him or snooped. I treated him kindly like I would a neighbor I only know in passing. I made boundaries with the kids by participating in all events as a family then eventually weened the schedule down to safe or supervised visits when I was absent. I went dark after four or five months of acting as if and set up all boundaries.