It is awfully tempting at times to give up on the pain of the marriage and experience that 'newness' of a fresh relationship. I Was out tonight with my D (1yr) and I started talking to someone working at Starbucks - They were flirting like mad, which made me feel pretty good.
Walking back to my car I was thinking to myself "Yeah, it probably would feel good for a while, but it's not the same". The whole prospect of having to get to know someone all over again, figure out their habits and nuances just seemed like such a long short compared to trying to solve the problems which brought me to DBing in the first place.
I feel pretty strongly about dating during this process - It's just not going to happen. Maybe I could make my wife jealous and she'd want to come back to me, or maybe it'd frustrate her so much she just gives up. I've not taken my wedding ring off during all of this mess, and I'm not going to take it off so I can go and pick up someone else. Maybe if I wanted the easy way out and didn't really care who I hurt along the way it would be the preferred option, but I know I could never forgive myself if I got involved with someone else and then my wife wanted to work on our marriage - Either way, someone is going to get hurt in the process.
I've always believed there is only room in a marriage for two people - Anything more than that just confuses matters.
