CVA - thin PJ's & Massages

[Not Much Left]

Thanks Ladies
I feel pretty selfish right now, about my posting, my life whatever. Called the home loan agent today after talking w/ Nomo this am. I need to take the next step. It is a big one, however, it needs to happen.

I have a thought to follow through on a note / email that my C suggested I writed. A different medium of communication. I may post it here if anyone is interested. I talked about writing this before but then decided against it. Nothing confrontational, just the facts about what I need to do so she understands without all the bitterness of Angry CVA trying to talk to her and Ws NON REACTION or I DONT KNOW which would send me over the edge.

I told Nomo this morning that I just dont understand / dont get it. "It" being "walls", "cant talk about it". Well F, your the one who raised your hand here and were bold enough the say Get Out. It is just such a copout not to say "I just dont know", "I cant talk about it".

Maybe people are really "wired" differently, but I dont think so different that such big decisions in life cant be talked about. Who is immature? Who is controlling?

Dont get me wrong, I get it that I dont control Her decisions, the fact that I am putting this much energy into this is mind boggling right now. The ONLY reason I am doing it is for the sliver of hope to save our family and spare our children a life that most certainly will be less secure and fulfilling and as a result damaging.

That's it. Made plans to go to dinner tomorrow and go Stalk, I mean talk to some hotties. Playing Golf Friday. Probably will go out Fri night to in order not to be here when SIL is here with her kids. It is too painful to be around my house while inlaws are here and everyone plays like it is all OK.

C