I do agree with new attitude too. she's right about the love part. And the comment that H needs some space to work on himself...I think is good.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
I'd prefer that you don't, but I don't have any expectation that you won't. And that's okay."
okay, with my back pain and stress, I cannot for the life of me figure out if your saying you don't expect him to see OW or you are expecting him to see OW with the kids and your okay with that.
what were you saying? too many negatives in the same sentence...brain overload!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAH.
okay, I'm okay now.
I think on the comment I would have left it at... In my opinion it's best that the kids have the least amount of confusion, meaning I would rather them not witness any OWs unless we are officially D or S.
I'm glad you were able to have a decent convo without any craziness attached to it. Also glad to hear he wants to spend more time with the kids too.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
oh I forgot to mention. I do have a business idea for you if you wanna email me and I'll get you more info on it. I personally know several people who are earning a 6 figure income after only a year or two. It's even a business you can WILL to your kids. I thought that was really cool.
And I should have known that you are a writer... I have felt I was back in college or something trying to figure out the meanings to some of your chosen words! Is there anything you've done that you could post or has been somewhere that we can see???
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
ST, I can't post a link to anything I've written without my name going out there, so I'll respectfully decline. Don't worry---I'm not a household name!
Sunny and NA, I just read your posts for the first time. Must have missed them in my flurry of posting last night. I'll get back to you.
Today I've been a bit down, and I just got an email from H. He's been wanting a dog forever (as he reminds me in our sitch, I'm not a dog person...), and I figured he'd get one when he moves out.
Apparently he's found "the one," so he may get it from the shelter today. The only reply I could think of was, "Wow. I don't know what to say." He also thanked me for talking and for my offer of help last night; said he just needs "to let things settle." You and me both, mister.
I'm feeling all muddled about this. My first reaction was great, bring a dog, get the kids attached, then leave with it. Of course the kids will still see the dog, and I imagine they'll want to spend lots of time with it. That's probably what's got me down right now. It just feels like one more thing to throw into the mix, and I could do without that right now. Ugh.
Sorry Puddle. Sometimes (and I really mean sometimes) when I am in a funk/down, I am able to mentally force myself out of it by reminding myself that the mental funk (NMA, if you will) only makes things worse (which is true - really makes them worse). So i can will myself out of it. Not always, but you may give it a try. If not, we all know it will pass before too long.
Hang in there, Nomo
M 39 W 39 M'd 10 yrs; T 14 yrs S7 D4 Bomb 5-8-05 W not working on M 1-22-07; EA 2-22 DB 4-10 S 6-11 No more C Link
Thanks, Nomo. Yeah, I'm going to shower and get dressed (that always helps---duh, sitting around like I'm sick) and get the kids out of the house, do something fun.
After trying Nomo's technique, I find that if I read something like the "As If" piece, the Homer bit on how useless the pity-party is (had to read that 3x's yesterday ;-/), or some of the success stories, it brings me out of it more quickly.
Yes, getting dressed & out is likely the best choice, even if it's on the gloomy side like it is here today.
What I'd like to ask H is "Are you concerned at all that the kids might experience bringing a dog into the house [something 7-year-old dearly wants] and then taking it away as a(nother) loss?" I'd like to ask him to hold off on the dog until he's gone.
Called H, said I had a question about the dog. H: "What the f*** am I thinking?" I said no, asked what he was planning to do with the dog. Turns out he's not intending to bring it home, but rather to park it with OM (or whatever she is)---who's a dog person, by the way ---"for a few days" (???) until he gets his own place.
So no worries after all. And now I really am going to do something outside the house!
