Well last night I talked to my W about the finances. She sent me an email about spliting up our checking account and having me pay for our apartment and she will contribute a little. I sent her an email back asking if she could give a little more because we got the apartment together with the intention of having both of our salaries would pay for the expences. We talked after that conversation for a little while until she stopped texting me. I asked if I could come up and see her for the weekend but her mother is going to visit her this weekend so she said that it will have to be another time. I guess that is good, that she is telling me that it is okay to see her and that we can spend some time together.
I know what you mean. I am having a rough time right now. My H told our S yesterday that he is happy now. Isn't that great. He is happy and I am miserable. There may be an OW as well so for the life of me I can not figure out why he would come home but I am still trudging on and having faith in the DB and that in time he will miss what we had when it was good.
I think that right now they are just focused on all of the bad that we had together since that is the most recent memories. If we continue to DB and act happy then they will begin to remember the good times we had together too. When you see her try to touch her arm etc. I have been doing that a bit and when we are looking at something I tend to maybe be a little too close. Things that may make him think about me. When I do it I just think "sexual tension" over and over in my head trying to create it. I know it sounds weird but that is what I do. LOL!!!
I miss mine too but he is not the person I used to know. I see him in glimpses here and there so I have hope that he is not gone for good. I think he is still confused that is why he has not told me about the OW. He has done somethings that make me think he may want me to find out about her like I have and confront him on it but I have decided that is his responsiblity since that was our agreement. So I am just trudging along as you should. You need to just concentrate on making your life great and spending time with friends and family who care for you right now and are there for you.
Hang in there and be patient. We are here to help you though.
I know what you mean. I am having a rough time right now. My H told our S yesterday that he is happy now. Isn't that great. He is happy and I am miserable. There may be an OW as well so for the life of me I can not figure out why he would come home but I am still trudging on and having faith in the DB and that in time he will miss what we had when it was good. I think that right now they are just focused on all of the bad that we had together since that is the most recent memories. If we continue to DB and act happy then they will begin to remember the good times we had together too. When you see her try to touch her arm etc. I have been doing that a bit and when we are looking at something I tend to maybe be a little too close. Things that may make him think about me. When I do it I just think "sexual tension" over and over in my head trying to create it. I know it sounds weird but that is what I do. LOL!!! I miss mine too but he is not the person I used to know. I see him in glimpses here and there so I have hope that he is not gone for good. I think he is still confused that is why he has not told me about the OW. He has done somethings that make me think he may want me to find out about her like I have and confront him on it but I have decided that is his responsiblity since that was our agreement. So I am just trudging along as you should. You need to just concentrate on making your life great and spending time with friends and family who care for you right now and are there for you. Hang in there and be patient. We are here to help you though.
thanks Lissie..I try to surround myself with family and friends and activities that I enjoy but for some reason I do not enjoy them anymore. I try to act "as if" nothing bothers me but everyone can see right through me. When I went over to her parents house on Monday her Mom asked me if I was okay, my teenage sister-in-law was in the room as was my father-n-law and I didnt want to cry infront of them so I just shook my head yes. After I left, I sent my mother-n-law a text message telling her that I wasnt okay and I said I was cause I didnt want to cry infront of Abbey (sister-n-law). She said that she could tell. Its weird, I use to love to play softball, well over the weekend I was out of town for a tournament and I really didnt want to play at all. My family keeps trying to help me, they always want me to come over and get out of my apartment, which lately I have been. Over the past 2 weeks I have been talking to a friend of mine (who is female) and that seems to help me alot. She is a good listener and she never lets me talk about what is going on, She always changes the focus to something else...so that keeps my mind off of my W. My biggest thing that I am struggling with is patients. I just want everything to be okay with us and try to move on but I know that isnt going to happen overnight. Talking on this board has helped alot also, I just wish I could help those who are helping me.
Patience is something I think that we all struggle with. Some days are easier than others that is for sure. You just have realize how strong you are and that you can do this. It is great that you have a friend that makes you focus on other things. That is what you need right now. My S helps me to do that. It is hard not to cry a lot but cry if you must just not in front of her or anyone that may tell her (ie her parents). You need to be strong but then again it is ok to break down just be sure you do it here or with people you can trust. It is hard but you can do it. I have confidence in you.
HELP!!!911....I told my W that I am not ready to sign the papers if or when she files them. She just sent me an email asking why I wont...what do I tell her? I know that DR tells me not to tell her how much I love her and how much she means to me..so what do I do?? I was planning on telling her this.."because I am not ready to end my marriage, a commitment that I made to share my life with you, Im not ready to face the fact that the only person I have ever loved wants nothing to do with me"....please help me....I want it to be more in depth than just because Im not ready...I want to ask her if she is going to file this weekend but I do not want to hear her answer...
Okay, so here goes...Im not going to tell you that I love you and how much you mean to me because you already know all of that. When we got married I took my vows seriously and I meant everything I said with all of my being I plan to live up to that commitment. I hope that this doesnt come across the wrong way, I do not mean to throw this in your face. Please do not take it that way. I said my vows because I believed in them, I didnt say them because they felt right at that time or because I I was lying. I made a commitment to you, myself and everyone there that day and Im not ready to end that promise I made. I'm not ready to give up on our marriage. I know that I have alot of work to do on myself and I have been doing things that I normally dont do. I believed in a dream and Im not ready to let go of that dream. Im sorry but I just cant let go, not yet....
HI mwel Sorry I was not on last night to help you out with this or at least attempt. I think what you wrote was good but it could possibly be taken the wrong way by her so be prepared for some backlash maybe. Maybe not you never know with the WAS's. think it is good the way you worded it.
I do think and have learned that the shortest most non-commital responses are the best so I would have gone with the "I am just not ready for that step yet" She has to respect that you are at a different place then she is.
Yeah, I freaked out and my emotions got the best of me.
Here is what she said...
I understand all of that but if you love me so much you would think you would want me to be happy and let me go, because that is what I want. I am going to file them and than it will go to court after so long, and you will have to sign them. You cant keep me stuck in something I want out of.
Im starting to freak out and shake really bad.....
