I know what you mean. I am having a rough time right now. My H told our S yesterday that he is happy now. Isn't that great. He is happy and I am miserable. There may be an OW as well so for the life of me I can not figure out why he would come home but I am still trudging on and having faith in the DB and that in time he will miss what we had when it was good. I think that right now they are just focused on all of the bad that we had together since that is the most recent memories. If we continue to DB and act happy then they will begin to remember the good times we had together too. When you see her try to touch her arm etc. I have been doing that a bit and when we are looking at something I tend to maybe be a little too close. Things that may make him think about me. When I do it I just think "sexual tension" over and over in my head trying to create it. I know it sounds weird but that is what I do. LOL!!! I miss mine too but he is not the person I used to know. I see him in glimpses here and there so I have hope that he is not gone for good. I think he is still confused that is why he has not told me about the OW. He has done somethings that make me think he may want me to find out about her like I have and confront him on it but I have decided that is his responsiblity since that was our agreement. So I am just trudging along as you should. You need to just concentrate on making your life great and spending time with friends and family who care for you right now and are there for you. Hang in there and be patient. We are here to help you though.
thanks Lissie..I try to surround myself with family and friends and activities that I enjoy but for some reason I do not enjoy them anymore. I try to act "as if" nothing bothers me but everyone can see right through me. When I went over to her parents house on Monday her Mom asked me if I was okay, my teenage sister-in-law was in the room as was my father-n-law and I didnt want to cry infront of them so I just shook my head yes. After I left, I sent my mother-n-law a text message telling her that I wasnt okay and I said I was cause I didnt want to cry infront of Abbey (sister-n-law). She said that she could tell. Its weird, I use to love to play softball, well over the weekend I was out of town for a tournament and I really didnt want to play at all. My family keeps trying to help me, they always want me to come over and get out of my apartment, which lately I have been. Over the past 2 weeks I have been talking to a friend of mine (who is female) and that seems to help me alot. She is a good listener and she never lets me talk about what is going on, She always changes the focus to something else...so that keeps my mind off of my W. My biggest thing that I am struggling with is patients. I just want everything to be okay with us and try to move on but I know that isnt going to happen overnight. Talking on this board has helped alot also, I just wish I could help those who are helping me.
