NikkiB #21

[NikB]

Thanks for checking in!

jak
Yeah that was really freaky. I can't run (due to my muscle issues) so it was extra frightening. Glad that the front door was close by! Who knew I should've taken pepper spray to the L's 'office' eh?

I thought about reporting him, but he's already "semi-retired" so I'm not sure if it's worth bothering. I don't think the legal service will be using him again, they were pretty shocked by his behavior. Might see if it's easily reported to the law licensing places... if not, I just don't think it's worth my time or energy right now.

On the wall space - it's kind of hard to describe. One "closet" is about 3 feet wide and made of 2 pieces of plywood nailed into the wall (one vertical "side" and one horizontal "top"). This has some shelves I plan to use in place of a dresser. Above that is what looks like a cheap (as in cheaply made) kitchen or laundry room cabinet or something... it's shallower than the closet, and has one longer piece that comes down next to the closet. Next to that is yet another cheapo cabinet - different shape, size, and depth. Below that is open and where I plan to put the garmet rack. All of this is kind of "recessed" into one side of the room... it's the side the couch/bed will face so I want to make it at least presentable to look at.

Hm.. the panel idea might work, will have to see if there's room to do that once the couch/bed is in.

Thanks for the cabinet ideas. They're hideous enough that they aren't really worth the effort to sand/paint. Ultimate plan was to tear them out and this whole room was going to be expanded and made into a master bedroom. We just hadn't gotten there yet. If I can find an inexpensive way to tear them out and put something else in entirely (do need the storage space) I may do that.

SD
True, maybe that whole thing was to get me in the "scary" spirit eh??

I was impressed with the legal service's response / followup at least. They told me they'd have a new referral for me "within 7 days." They called this morning, less than 24 hours. And the new L is listed on the county court's website as being one of their trained mediation attorneys... so I am hopeful she will be a LOT better. I don't think she could be worse.

Thank you for the curtain idea - I'm thinking that's probably the quickest and cheapest plan.

I love all your ideas for making it a "sanctuary." Thanks!! Especially picking up some thing (s) on my trip to decorate it. We do have a spare TV that gets used maybe once every 6 months so I'm planning to use that (hopefully H won't object.. can't imagine he will but I will keep Craigslist in mind just in case!). Depending on how much room I have once the bed is in there I want to get one of those "storage cube" ottoman things that can be used as both a coffee table and a seating area.

Also really love your point about leaving any negative energy at the door. As I've mentioned this is not a nice room currently.. it has been the eyesore that we just hadn't gotten around to messing with, so I need to put that out of my head and instead get excited about making it mine. I have been getting fresh flowers regularly for the kitchen table - may switch to putting them in my room, instead.

Part of this trip is going to be me thinking through whether this in-house thing is very temporary, just until we get the legalities worked out, or whether I want to try it longer term. That'll help me determine just how much $$ / effort to put into fixing it up too. For now I'm mostly focusing on things that I can easily take with me to a new place.

Definitely will keep the focus on me for this trip! The only H-related part of it will be figuring out the living situation, and that will also be focused on what I need.

OT
Oh yes.. a boundary issue, for sure.

I am proud of myself for at least beginning to recognize it and take action sooner though. Previously I probably would have gone to that IC at least a few more times "hoping" for it to get better. Or broken down crying in frustration at the L, rather than attempting to call him on it, and when that didn't work trusting my gut and removing myself from the situation. I only stayed as long as I did because I felt kind of stuck thinking that the legal service might not have another referral for me - it took me a minute to realize it really didn't matter, I wasn't working with this guy no matter what. I absolutely should have trusted myself sooner, but I do see that I'm getting better.

I've typed too long... I'm off for my trip!

May be on a bit if I have wireless, but otherwise I'll be back in a few days. Thinking of all of you and thank you for your support, as always.