Mixed signals - catfan's continual saga part???

[Dom R]

I know she's reading the 5 love languages ever so slowly and I am wondering if she's feeling pressure as she reads it. [....] Yet she's stepped up a little her requests of me, mainly things that would in essence be her love language items, words of affirmation and acts of service. Is she testing me?

could be.
and it's tough to put on a smiling happy face to someone who you have doubts about, and are 'testing'.

She's not exactly playing fair... she should really tell you what is important to her, rather than playing mental hide-and-seek with you. But... do what you can, with what you get.


it might be, that she's testing herself.
[and doing the WAW thing of deliberately sabotaging things between you]
that is to say, "Well, the book says that my 'love language' is X, and if my husband does X for me, then I will love him. So, I'm going to prove it wrong, by getting my husband to do X, and then still feeling angry, hostile and bitter towards him".

By sheer force of will, rather than just letting her feelings be natural.

Eh.... if so.. not much you can do about it anyway. You cant argue her into dropping her attitude, because putting her into "argument" mode, would probably just make her more defensive. the last thing you need is more "defenses" up.

Contrariwise, she might have read that some of her main love languages are "communication" and "affection", and so is deliberately cutting you off from fulfilling her needs in those areas.

but... yet again... if she IS doing that... there's nothing you can really do about it, but give her space.

Well I don't know and I'm struggling with patience and the whole being friends thing right now. Yet I push myself forward and try the best I can to keep a happy face and attitude.

Good for you Hang in there